I have a new yoga class available on YouTube. This one aims to be a more vigorous vinyasa flow, so check it out and let me know what you think! I filmed it towards the end of going on a yoga retreat in Guatemala, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it.
Hi friends. After a long (primarily puppy-driven) YouTube yoga hiatus, I’ve finally posted a video. This flow helped me loosen up after a long ride in the car to New York City and a day of working at a desk. I hope you find it useful. I’ll be planning to post more yoga classes over on my YouTube channel, so follow along if you’re a fan of doing online yoga videos. I like it because we can practice together from anywhere in the world. Enjoy, and have a great weekend!
I know the past few weeks of quarantine, COVID-19, and shelter-in-place have generated different emotions for everyone. Some of us might be adept at dealing with change and uncertainty, while others may be feeling the intense effects of stress and anxiety. No matter how you cope, there’s no denying that life has changed and brought up new concerns for all of us.
I’m normally a great sleeper and, thank goodness, don’t usually have trouble falling asleep, but lately when my head hits the pillow, I become convinced that I must have coronavirus! My mind starts racing, and the slightest tickle in my throat will send me into a whirlwind of worry. Of course, when I wake up in the morning and see the sun shining through my window, I feel fine.
There’s something about the nighttime hours that bring up our most extreme and bothersome thoughts. I hope you haven’t been having the same fears that I have, but if you’ve had any of your own trouble catching z’s, these are five yoga poses to help you fall asleep. I’ll even do some of them in bed if I find my mind racing at night.
This forward fold turns our attention inward and away from the outside world. For the restorative version, I like to place a pillow under my knees or over my thighs, so the fold becomes less intense. Let your weight feel heavy and supported by the floor, then bring your attention to your breath.
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In the yoga world, twists are known for helping the body improve digestion. They also relieve any pain or tension in the lower back. This easy, reclined version relaxes the body as you breathe slowly and deeply. My teacher always recommends twisting to left side first, then the right side in order to align with the flow of digestion in the body.
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This is my go-to favorite yoga pose to help me fall asleep. If I can’t fall asleep or wake up in the middle of the night and want to go back to sleep, this is the position you’ll find me in. You can increase the relaxation by adding pillows to support the knees or under the head.
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This restorative variation of viparita karani (inverted action pose) has multiple effects. Its name tells us that the pose inverts the action in the body. So if you’re feeling too lethargic, this pose will give you a boost. In this case, if your mind and body are too active and it’s time to go to bed, this pose will help you slow down and find rest.
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If you’ve gone to any yoga class before, I’m sure you didn’t need a blog post to tell you this. Many of us are guilty of falling asleep during savasana, the final pose of class. Corpse pose is actually not intended to put you to sleep, but to give the opportunity to focus and relax your mind. Try counting breaths, repeating a mantra or phrase, or conducting a scan of your body parts. You just might find yourself calming down after a few minutes.
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I hope some of these yoga poses will bring you peace if you have any trouble slowing down and falling asleep at night. If you have an extra ten minutes to spare, I posted a sequence on my YouTube channel to help guide you through it.
Sweet dreams!
Another thing that feels far away and inappropriate to talk about now is how we went to El Salvador in the first week of March. I joined Pixie and Surf Sweat Serve for the second year in a row as yoga teacher, Spanish translator, and event coordinator extraordinaire. If there is a better job on this earth, please tell me and I will apply.
We stayed at Puro Surf again since we’ve become so close with the best staff members and the BEST surf coaching team.
Much to my own shock and disbelief, I rode my first unbroken wave this time around.
We hosted a group of twelve women in this incredible country, and I’m so glad Pixie chose the week that she did. It was our last international hurrah before borders started closing and we all got sequestered indoors. I’m thankful for the pictures that are helping me relive it.
This trip was a little bit different from the last one because we got off the hotel property, walked around town and visited nearby bars and restaurants. El Salvador gets a bad rap, mostly because of gang violence among locals, but I’ve never felt safer in a Central or South American country. The locals are very friendly and welcoming to people from the US, and they’re always willing to chat or help you out.
Especially now that I’m tucked away at my dad’s house in Upstate NY, I feel so lucky to have gotten to see so much of the world and to have had these experiences. I’ll be sharing more about our retreat week while I’m here in hibernation. I hope the stories will inspire you to grab life by the horns (once we can go outside and start living it again).
And if you’d already like to start planning for next year’s trip, you can do that here.
I really left you hanging in Bali, and I’m sorry for that! I found the whole trip to be perfectly rejuvenating and exactly what I needed. I had been feeling a little lonely from months of solo travel and brand new friendships, but visiting Ubud reminded me of the joys and freedom of traveling on your own. I spent so much quiet time in nature and in the city doing the things that I wanted to. I learned even more about the yoga practice and connected with many friendly faces.
The fifth day of our yoga workshop with Kino was the closing ceremony. As usual, we kicked off with our daily discussion of the yoga sutras. We learned that in all of the 196 yoga sutras the word LOVE is never mentioned. Still, Patanjali hints at it, with references to pranidhana (devotion), maitri (friendliness), and ahimsa (non-harming). The feeling of love is infused into his words, and any act of hatred would be considered an act of self-harm. He recommends that whenever negative thought forms appear, as they inevitably will, the seeds of the opposite thought should be planted.
In the Ashtanga yoga closing mantra, we ask that all beings be happy and free from suffering. Kino had us take it a step further in a seated metta meditation. In metta, we first call attention to ourselves—if I’m not happy and free from suffering, how can I fully wish it for others?—then to the ones we love and feel close to, and finally (the hardest one!) to those we dislike or the people who frustrate us. As spiritual seekers, we liberate ourselves from wishing ill upon others as we do our best to free the rest of humanity.
The closing ceremony was held at the studio and hosted by a Balinese priest. He chanted and blessed us while we lit incense in our traditional flower baskets. Sometimes I roll my eyes at myself for being an American practicing yoga in a studio with American teachers in such a magical foreign country with a rich spiritual history. The traditional closing ceremony was a way to tie it all together and it helped me feel more connected to the local culture at the end of the week.
Day four of the workshop focused a lot on physical practice. We learned more about backbends from an old skeleton who hilariously happened to be losing some limbs during Kino’s discussion. We hoped that wouldn’t happen to us when it was our turn to try! By the end of the session, I had learned even more about a safe backbending practice that I think will help me on the road to recovery from a long-ago injury. One of the main reasons I enjoy going to workshops with different teachers is to learn little techniques that have a tremendous impact on my practice. Sometimes you can hear a few people teach the same thing, but for some reason one teacher will say it in a way that finally clicks and stays with your forever.
For anyone who isn’t lucky enough to practice at a studio with a teacher for whatever reason—and this has been me pretty often lately— here are some pieces of advice from Kino on establishing and maintaining a home practice:
Practice at the same time every day— This will help you stay consistent and avoid potential excuses or distractions.
Attend a public class once a month— Or, if that’s not possible, attend a workshop once a year. Try to do it with the same teacher every time so they can get to know you and your practice.
Choose only one “project” per practice— Focus on one key thing each time you practice. For example, this could be an intention or your breath, or something physical like keeping your core engaged during forward folds.
Guard your energy— Your practice shouldn’t leave you 100% drained and unable to do anything else for the rest of the day. It’s nice to challenge yourself, but yoga should leave you feeling empowered and energized, not completely spent. If you find yourself with too much energy after a home practice, it could be time to attend a public class to get some new ideas.
Our yoga sutra discussion was short on this day. We talked about the popular 2.46 which tells us that a yoga posture should be both strong and comfortable. Once that is achieved, we can let go of unnecessary effort and focus our attention on the infinite (2.47).
The following sutra was new to me—what should we expect to happen when we do the asanas (physical poses) correctly? Number 2.48 says that we no longer become influenced by opposites or duality. In making the asana both strong and comfortable, we balance two opposites: sthira (strength) and sukha (ease). In the same way, we begin to balance other pairs of opposites in life such as like/dislike, mine/yours, pleasure/pain, etc. We are become free to remain steady without the constant distraction of running towards what we like and away from what we don’t like. We clear up space to focus on the higher limbs of yoga— pranayama (breath work), pratyahara (sense control), meditation, and, perhaps, transcendence. Finally, we find a lasting peace that is not impacted by the ups and downs of life.
On the third day of our workshop with Kino, things got a little more physical. We talked about the obstacles that might spring up on the path to yoga— sickness, injury, laziness, lethargy, all types of doubt, neglect, preference for sensory pleasures, losing progress, bad moods, trembling limbs, and disturbed breathing. There are so many potential obstacles that it takes two sutras to cover them (1.30 & 1.31)! Kino reminded us of some (mainly trembling limbs, doubt and disturbed breathing) when we practiced lifting our legs and butts off the ground in various arm balances. It’s definitely enough to make you wonder how we’re supposed to stay on this struggling path for the long term.
The sutras that follow offer some advice. We’re supposed to keep going by returning every day to a single-pointed meditation practice. Patanjali says that single point can be the breath or any object of attention. This led us to talking about one of my favorite and one of the most popular sutras, 1.33:
Well, that’s easier said than done, especially in today’s US political climate. I know my calmness of the mind has been disturbed when I read or hear about all sides of the debate and upcoming election. Today’s sutra is a gentle reminder to maintain our peaceful attitudes toward our neighbors/friends/family members/complete strangers even when they support an opposing viewpoint from us or act differently than we do. The best way to get someone to hear your opinion is not to tell someone that theirs is stupid or wrong—surprise! If you’re living your best, most peaceful, yogic way, attitude and actions always speak louder than words.
I started taking yoga classes when I was 19 or 20. I was in college and it was just for fun. I remember learning from an older guy named Bill at the University of Delaware gym. My friend Annie and I would go and try to contain our laughter while he instructed us in partner poses and I would, more often than not, fall asleep in savasana. It felt relaxing and silly and like a perfectly lighthearted introduction to yoga.
The next year I started going more regularly. First two or three days a week, which eventually built up to five days. It started with Hatha yoga, where I learned slow movement, breath, and extended holds. I ventured outside the school gym to a studio down the street to learn Bikram. I liked how the heated room opened up my muscles that were tight from working out and playing volleyball. But I grew bored of repeating the same 26 poses every day. When I traveled to New York on breaks, I found a favorite studio and teacher back home. She was a former dancer who blended the foundations of yoga with creative sequencing. I fell in love with the fluid movement of vinyasa.
When I moved to Austin in 2013, I found that I could have it all. I joined a Bikram-based studio near my apartment that also offered other styles. Yoga gave me a feeling of home and sense of community in a new city. It was the same year that ClassPass started, and in the beginning an unlimited package of classes was unbelievably affordable. I tried just about every yoga studio in the city. I found my favorites (still BFree, Dharma, and Practice) and learned more and more. The quality of teachers and variety of classes made it easy for me to go every day, sometimes more than once a day.
I completed my first teacher training at Dharma and began teaching wherever I could. My long-time boyfriend abruptly ended our relationship and I cried in a lot of classes, seeking peace on the mat. By early 2018 during my last weeks in Austin, I was work-trading at BFree in exchange for a membership and taking two or three classes every day. My practice felt stronger than ever, and I was teaching two or three times a week.
Flash forward to Los Angeles, I was in deep. I completed my 500-hour advanced teacher training with YogaWorks and taught 10-15 classes a week. Keep in mind that 10-15 classes weekly isn’t even a full-time yoga teaching schedule for a new-ish/non-famous teacher—many teach up to 25! I was working other jobs as well. I was so grateful for the opportunity to teach and to learn from my mentor, Heather Seiniger, along with some other wonderful teachers in LA, but by the end of it all, I felt burnt out in my mind and worn out in my body.
In this week’s workshop with Kino MacGregor, we’ve been discussing the Yoga Sutras. These 196 sutras, or truths/statements, explain the basis of the philosophy of yoga. Historically, a person in India would have to memorize them all (!!!) in order to demonstrate that they were ready to begin the practice of yoga. Now, every teacher training covers them, but we’re only required to memorize about 3-5. I’m enjoying studying them more deeply with Kino because she has a deep knowledge of sanskrit, so we go through each word and break down the translation. I love learning languages, and it helps me to understand the full meaning when I can see the roots in a word.
On day two of the workshop, we talked about Sutra 1.14, which tells us the three necessary qualities of a yoga practice:
Kino explained further that a solid yoga practice contains three elements:
For a long time- A “long time” can mean different things, but in this case it’s one human lifetime. No biggie.
Uninterrupted- Kino says six days a week for at least five minutes a day.
With devotion- Your intention matters. Why are you on the mat? Why are you practicing?
2019 was the first time that I took any significant breaks from taking yoga classes. During months that I was working and teaching a lot, I sometimes couldn’t find the motivation to drive to a class or do a whole video sequence. When I moved to Sydney, I got back on the horse and began a physically intense Ashtanga practice, but by the end of the year I found that pushing through old injuries and being so hard on my body was catching up to me. I needed to rest.
January 2020 has seen a slow start for my yoga. I haven’t taught a class since October, and my daily practice has often been rolling around on the floor or seated meditation. My mind doesn’t know what to do. Is the rest appropriate, or am I being lazy? Is Ashtanga not right for me, or have I been doing it wrong? Am I still a teacher if I take a break? What should my practice look like now?
This month I’ve been seeking out the answers. The love and devotion is still in my heart, but there has definitely been some interruption. I’m glad Kino mentioned that 5 minutes a day is enough, because that’s about all I’ve been able to muster so far this year. She also told us that it’s important to take a sabbatical from teaching every few years, and I’ve certainly appreciated that. Since October, I’ve been able to be a regular student from some of the best teachers in the world, and now I feel lit on fire, eager to share all I’ve learned. (starting in El Salvador next month!)
I’m also ready to return to a more balanced practice. This week in Bali has felt incredibly healing—thanks to breath work, chakra balancing, massage, and trauma release (I’m spoiled. I know)— and I miss the sweat and power of using my muscles within their limits. I don’t think I’ll go back to taking three classes a day while demonstrating poses alongside my students. But after a sweet period of recovery, it feels right to continue my yoga practice for the rest of this one human lifetime.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. <3
Namaste.
When I mentioned to my grandma that I would be attending yet another yoga retreat, she was confused. “So, when you go to all these workshops and retreats, will you be learning new yoga or is it the same yoga?”
Ha ha. Since yoga as a spiritual practice has been around in India for about 5,000 years, I guess it’s the same yoga. It’s kind of like asking someone who goes to church every Sunday if it’s new church every week or the same church. And it’s important to remember that yoga didn’t start as an hour long exercise class to stretch out tight muscles. It is a spiritual practice that consists more of lifestyle and meditation than of the poses—physical asana is only one of the eight limbs of yoga.
In our first day of workshop with Kino we talked about how true progress in yoga is measured by the internal work. The purpose of yoga is to reach a state of non-reactivity.
If you read my last post about going to breathwork trauma release class and thought, “What kind of trauma do you have to release?”, well, the answer is that we all have experienced trauma, even if we don’t realize it. Even if you had an easy upbringing, there are still childhood memories of feeling ashamed or abandoned that are stored in the body and remembered. Then, of course, there are the everyday activities of living in society and interacting with one another
We go about our days experiencing a constant stream of stimuli, seeking what we think will make us happy and avoiding what we don’t like. Or worrying about the future and reflecting on the past. Yoga tries to get us to break up these habitual thoughts and to create a little bit of space between the stimulus and our immediate reaction, so that we can breathe.
Yeah, it’s interesting and exciting to learn to bend the body into new shapes. And yeah, I have (and maybe you have) heard a lot of the yoga philosophy before today. But if you, like me, have spent quite a lot of time living in society and thinking the same thoughts, maybe you’ve found that it’s necessary to learn the same lessons and practice the same good habits over and over until they fully mix things up and create new patterns in our lives. They say that freedom is what lies in the space between stimulus and response. So, I’ll be here practicing the same old yoga to become a little more free.
I’m trying to stay all caught up before I leave again, which happens tomorrow, so here we are. I went to Philadelphia over the weekend. I’m glad I could carve out some time to go visit, because I haven’t spent time in Philly since college. It’s somewhere I’ve been many times, but I still feel very curious about it. I love it a little more every time I go.
I stayed with my friend Colleen who is also a yoga teacher, so we did some yoga and then a little more. Philly has some very excellent offerings in the yoga department, which almost made me want to stay longer, but I have a few planes to catch very soon!
I scheduled a massage/myofascial release session with my friend Robina. Her bodywork is like nothing I’ve ever felt before, and I stood up off the table feeling totally realigned and like a brand new person. If you’re in the Philadelphia area, go see her—she’s a magician!
Colleen was working on Friday, so I did a bit of touring around. I took myself to breakfast and went to the Magic Gardens, a groovy mosaic art installation that takes up three city lots.
It was a gorgeous day to be in a magical space in the middle of the city! I’m very pleased with the quality and quantity of side trips I’ve been able to make from the beach.
Woo hoo! I went from being a girl who didn’t leave the island for two to three weeks to a girl who leaves every day. Since the summer traffic is gone, it takes me only 16 minutes to get to this yoga studio that I really like:
And twenty minutes to go to the gym. Yup, you read that right. I’m back to the gym. I thought I could survive off yoga and some Pilates classes for the summer, but I really missed lifting weights and having access to all of the equipment. There’s something about working out in a gym around other people that makes me train harder. And I like making my own schedule, so it’s nice to have the flexibility to go at different times in the day. Most of the exercise classes on the island take place between 8 and 10 am, so if I can’t make those, I wouldn’t be able to go at all.
Bonus: I signed up for a one-month pass this week, and the manager gave me back $10 since I’ll only be here for three more weeks. Thank ya!
Both of those places are in Manahawkin, NJ. It’s the nearest town right over the bridge, and I’m starting to quite like it. New Jersey as a whole has surprised me this summer, and I’ve really enjoyed getting to know it better. I’m learning that you don’t need to live in a big city to find awesome people, good yoga, or a juice bar. I’m not sure if it’s true for every town, but I think the stuff you’re looking often finds its way to you.
If you’ve been reading along on this journey with me for a while, I’m sure you know I’ve usually been pretty good at taking care of myself. Even when I was working full-time in a place of stability, I always had the right combination of structure and flexibility to work from home, prep healthy meals, exercise, or make space for impromptu socializing. After becoming a traveling and/or part-time yoga teacher, the self-care opportunities were even more prevalent. I’ve grown accustomed to making my own schedule and taking advantage of all those free yoga classes that you get for being a teacher. Of course, there’s a fine line to toe when your passion is also your job. Sometimes teaching three or four classes a day feels like enough yoga for you—and it often is! Sometimes there isn’t any time to prep that meal, so you’re on your own with takeout options. Sometimes you over-schedule yourself and realize that your body is a machine that needs oiling just as much as any other.
This summer, I’ve been pushing that tool to the max. I’ve wanted to work as much as I can to make sure that I can support a big move to another expensive city. Since most of my work is on my feet, I’m realizing that all the hours can take a toll on my feet, my back, and my neck and shoulders. Most nights I come home exhausted at 11:30 and take thirty minutes to wind down on my phone or with a book before I can fall asleep. Some nights I throw in some yoga stretches. Then it’s up early again to reach or work at the gym and I have only a couple hours free for lunch before going back to the restaurant. It’s been a big change from all those hours in LA spent sitting on my butt in traffic! Or when I was getting to take multiple yoga classes a day as part of my advanced teaching certification!
I’m still feeling lucky here. I get to take all the yoga and workout classes I want (and have time for), plus free adjustments from the chiropractor at the gym when he’s on duty. I can order veggies and protein from the restaurant, so it’s ok if I don’t have time to cook. And I’m living rent-free with mom. Hallelujah! Count your blessings!
But this week, as the tourist-season business dies off, I’ve finally had the opportunity to slow things down and repair my body. I left the island for the first time in weeks for a podiatrist appointment to work on a foot problem that’s been bugging me for three years. I got an impromptu massage which felt AMAZING. You know when you get a massage therapist who just intuitively knows which areas need attention and goes right for them? What a gift! Afterwards, I stopped by the natural foods store and picked up some treats I’ve never tried before and some old favorites.
On Tuesday, I got to work a little bit early and took a breezy walk around the lighthouse. I even saw a surprise pug, which is always a good omen in my book!
Over the weekend, I bought a foam surfboard from the end-of-season sale, and I’ve been pushing myself to get out and work on my “skills”. The first try on my own didn’t go so well, but I saw so many families of dolphins swimming by that it didn’t matter if I fell down in the waves. It still was a truly unbelievable morning on the water!
And I’m pretty sure that ice cream is allowed to be a part of any self-care practice. On Sunday, we slipped into the best place right before they shut their doors for the season.
What are you doing to take care of your body and soul these days? It becomes especially important to check in and set intentions for our health as we prepare ourselves for the change of seasons. I’m thankful to have the space to do so.
I have to admit, of all the activities on the trip, surfing was the one I was looking forward to the least. Growing up, I always wanted to be a surfer chick, back when I was shopping at Pacific Sunwear and wearing puka shell necklaces. Then I got older and actually tried a lesson. Turns out, surfing was way harder than it looked on TV! It wasn’t as easy as snowboarding, which I’d picked up in about a day or two. Surfing hurt. The first lesson I took was on a real fiberglass board, so I ended up with a lot of scratches and bumps from getting tumbled around underwater. Oh well, I’d just have to choose another life path besides surfing.
Another issue: when I was younger, I liked swimming in the ocean. I’d body surf and boogie board without any concerns for safety, but somewhere along the way, I lost that fearlessness and began to prefer staying closer the shore. Sometimes I’ll swim out farther, but I’m usually very cautious to go underneath the waves and, when it’s time to come in, I’ll swim or walk quickly to shore without letting any of them interfere.
I left for El Salvador feeling excited about the yoga and the waterfall jumping but pretty half-hearted about the prospect of catching waves. I thought might be able to stand up once or twice, but I probably wasn’t going to enjoy it. I was teaching on the retreat, though, so of course I would still join in and set a good example.
Two days later, we were lined up on the beach getting our first lesson from Marcelo, the founder of Puro Surf and the head instructor of their Academy Program. He led us in a breathing and stretching warmup that felt a lot like yoga. He broke down each of the steps in a simple way that we could repeat every time.
Something about his instruction must have stuck with us, because we all stood up in the water on the first day, and the next, and the next. The ocean was crazy warm, and the waves were small but powerful—perfectly manageable for beginners, which the majority of us were. By day three, I was really getting the hang of it. I noticed that when I was out in the water, I didn’t think about anything else besides reading the wave, feeling it push me, and following the steps to get up onto the board. My mind felt completely clear for the first time in a while. Surfing was a lot like yoga.
If the weather was sketchy or the waves too big, we would have our instruction in the hotel gym, just to make sure we were prepared for what we would see on the beach. One day, we even learned how to turn by riding skateboards outside the gym. I certainly never expected that at 31 years old I’d be rolling around a skatepark in El Salvador, but I guess there’s a time and a place for everything.
By the end of the trip, I had fallen in love with surfing. I wasn’t getting tumbled as often as the first two days, but I liked Marcelo’s main message. We were all going to get tumbled by the ocean at some point, so we had two choices. Choice number one: freak out! Choice number two: relax, stay calm, enjoy a little massage, and keep surfing. You can guess which option we all chose.
Much to our dismay, our coveted beach week in Bondi, which started out looking like this:
Ended up, by the third day, and for the rest of our time, looking like this:
Oh no!
We ventured out on a scattered showers day for our Bondi to Coogee trek, but most mornings we were resigned to stay inside.
Although we had to content ourselves with the yoga and the sampling of Bondi’s outstanding places to eat and drink, we were able to make the most of it. For heaven’s sake, The Nine even made me this koala latte while I worked inside on a stormy day:
Some of our other favorites were:
Bad Mama: We stumbled in here on a night when we were planning to go into Sydney, but the rain kept us home. We hadn’t made a reservation and Bondi restaurants can get crowded, so we weren’t expecting too much when this cocktail bar had open tables and seated us right away. We weren’t even sure they served food. How wrong we were! Everything was mind-blowing and we would happily come back for more.
Bangkok Bites: Incredible Thai food! Super crowded, but super excellent and fast service!
Bondi’s Best: Yummy seafood. We tried to come here without a reservation and ended up having to make one for later in the week.
BondiTony’s: The BEST burgers! Grass-fed, organic stuff, craft beers, healthy-ish options, and vegan milkshakes. We came here twice during our stay.
Fonda: Our first stop after the first day of practice. Of course you should drink multiple margaritas and much Mexican food after three hours of yoga, who’s to say you shouldn’t?
I was lucky on my final morning at the beach, when my mates had departed, that the sun finally came our for a few AM hours and I go to do Yoga by the Sea. It was a much appreciated way to wrap up a rainy week.
We're three days deep into Ashtanga yoga training. I still have mostly no idea what I'm doing, but I've managed to memorize the primary series up to Bhuja Pidasana, which is the one where you bend over, put your hands on the ground, shimmy your thighs way up high on your shoulders, then sit your butt on your triceps and cross your feet in front of you. Are you getting the picture? Intermittently, I stop to peek around the room just to see what everyone else is up to and make sure I'm keeping good track of time. I see legs folded into lotus posture, guys doing backwards somersaults, and women rocking themselves around the mat in a shape that looks like somewhere between a pretzel and a long-legged turtle that got turned on its back. What nonsense have I been wasting my time with for the past ten years?
If yoga is a metaphor for life, I am thankful for my ability to keep going when the view of progress is clouded and still laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. My friends who told me about this training share stories from their Mysore classes, which are famous for not using blocks or other props. “Your suffering is a prop!” one of their teachers screamed at them. “Don't flex your muscles,” cued our leader today, “Use the muscles to support the bones!!!” I'm hysterical and exhausted and she's teaching me to lift myself up on my hands and float my feet back, and I'm rolling my eyes at her because that is just not going to happen today.
It's all such a silly mind game. We feel the frustrations of not being able to unlock certain poses. We celebrate successes only to be knocked down by our areas of weakness. We eat burgers after class because we're not real dedicated Ashtangis so maybe that's why I'm not able to lift my hips/butt/feet into the air, then we rinse and repeat the next day. Something has kept us coming back. I see the beauty, too. I've been doing this practice for so long and it's never ceased to be amazingly interesting to me. I am grateful for the flow, the repetition, the finesse, and the way I've felt led to certain teachers or how a pose that I once found overwhelmingly challenging comes easily to me at the right time.
Yoga is “to attain what was previously unattainable”, says Desikachar, son of Krishnamacharya, in the book I'm reading at the moment. I hope that that's true, I think, as I look around at everyone folded flat in Paschimottanasana or with their legs tucked neatly behind their heads. But outside of this room and this training that I was, perhaps, not wholly prepared for, I know that it is. Yoga has carried me across many state lines, transformed me from an atheist (or very agnostic at best) to a spiritual believer, and convinced me to do many things I was previously very afraid of doing. I've laughed, cried, sweated, struggled, but have never given up on the mat. I'm still here.
How did I end up here? I'm wondering as we're doing the 100th jump back of this afternoon's class. I feel like a kindergartener in a fifth grade classroom. I also feel like I shouldn't have eaten so many french fries during the first few days of this trip. I look around the room, and it seems like everyone is able to hold themselves up with their hips off the ground in a cross-legged seat. I'm hot and humbled. My hips are firmly rooted on the mat.
One of the main reasons I came to Sydney was to participate in an Ashtanga Mysore yoga intensive. It was an interesting choice considering I've hardly taken any Ashtanga classes in my ten year stint as a yogi. I've checked it out a few times, but never really got hooked or felt like I could figure out what I was doing enough to feel comfortable. I've recently become more curious and have been feeling like my usual practice could benefit from the consistency and discipline of the Ashtanga method.
If you're reading this saying, “What the heck is Mysore/Ashtanga and how is that different from any 'normal' yoga class?” I would say that Ashtanga yoga is a very traditional sequence of postures and the practice can be pretty intense. There are three series or levels of poses, so you always start and end with the same opening and closing sequence, but what you do in between depends on your level of ability. Mysore means that you're basically conducting your own solo practice in a community room, and the teacher will come around to offer one-on-one advice. Usually, you won't add variations or more difficult poses until you 've mastered the ones earlier in the series. The style of yoga that I practice is more varied, flowing, and (I think) forgiving. But it can be easier to develop bad alignment habits when you're not getting the same strict level of individualized attention. In Ashtanga, I'm learning that there can be a bit of an ego check when you realize you can't just fake it and slip through the cracks, even though, like in any yoga class, you're meant to be accountable only to yourself.
I was relieved to hear that the first day of class would be led by our teacher, Maty, the famed instructor I've heard so much about. That didn't make practicing any easier, but at least it wasn't so apparent that I don't know the correct order of the sequence. I've realized that by only attending classes with familiar teachers and in teaching my own classes, I've managed to avoid a lot of the poses that are hard for me or that I don't like. I realize this while I'm attempting to hold my leg out in front of me and, impossibly, trying to reach my forehead towards my shin. I try to find the silver lining in the struggle. A new experience with an amazing teacher! I'd better get some sleep so I can survive the rest of this thing.
Ok, now that we’ve caught up on all the Mexican and wintry romps, it’s time to talk about Australia. Wow! Has it been over here this whole time? Why haven’t we been visiting yearly or monthly or daily? Actually, why don’t we live here?? I haven’t found an answer to that question yet and will continue seeking until I can come up with one, but if I don’t, you might have to come visit me here in a couple of years.
I came to visit a couple of friends and to participate in an Ashtanga/Mysore intensive workshop (which is currently kicking my butt). My family is having trouble keeping track of me, and I am too, because I only decided to come on this trip about a month ago. But when your bff from college is going to be living in Sydney for the next two years, you might as well check the prices of flights. And when some other college comrades are already planning to visit in March to train with a renowned instructor with whom all of your current instructors have studied, you’d better sign up and buy the tickets.
That’s how I got here, at least.
I spent the first weekend in a town called Balgowlah with my friend Amanda who you might remember from our impromptu travels together in Thailand. She’s living her best life with a quick and beautiful coastal walk to the beach from her apartment. If this is the view on your lunch break and you get to swim in the sea every day, I say you’re doing a lot of things right.
It was a truly lovely way to get over the jet-lag that I really didn’t have because I am remarkably able to sleep for ten hours of a fifteen hour flight and to adapt to Australia which isn’t really a major achievement because if there’s anything that’s not perfect here, I haven’t come across it yet.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, but last month I finished a 500 hour teaching training with YogaWorks here in LA. It feels surreal to be done, since it had been a goal of mine since 2016 when I finished my first 200 hour training in Austin. It even feels a little anti-climactic because I’d been attending intensive workshops every weekend since August, spending 8 hours in the studio studying topics like anatomy, Ayurvedic diets, practicing with chronic illness, and prenatal yoga. Now that I have my freedom back, what was it that I used to do on the weekends anyway?
The end to a training is always bittersweet. You’ve been spending so much time getting to know your fellow trainees and experiencing teaching transformations together as a group. You go through the highs of realization and grasping certain concepts and the lows of physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion and simply not wanting to unroll your mat that day at all. Then, suddenly, it’s time to say goodbye and graduate, and you’re sent on your way with a paper certificate to remind you that you spent the past six months actually doing something.
The feelings are a mixed bag. Some days, there’s immense gratitude for having had the time and space to study with highly trained teachers. At other times, there’s the sense of fear and loneliness that comes with having achieved a step in your plan. There’s less of a road map and no more hand holding, you’re off on your own now.
I’m taking time to process and digest all of the information we’ve been soaking in during the training. What kind of teacher do I want to be? What are my strengths and weaknesses? Where do I still have more to learn? Am I there yet? Will I ever be?
In the meantime, I’d like to share my final project for the 300 hour program. I worked with my friend, Amie Leigh, to develop a series of yoga videos for people who have ostomy bags. This idea has been close to my heart ever since I learned Amie Leigh’s story and heard about her growing interest in yoga. I’m happy with the results and I hope it ends up helping someone. Please share if you know anyone with a similar condition who might benefit from beginning a yoga practice.
Namaste!
Attention friends and family in LA who like (or are curious about) doing yoga! All the mind-body classes at 24 Hour Fitness are free for guests this week (December 10-16). That means Pilates, PiYo, and, you guessed it, YOGA… with me! Here is my schedule for the week.
Leave a comment below or email info@coridom.com if you’d like to be my guest.
Tuesday
8-9pm Mid-Wilshire
Wednesday
9:30-10:30am Glendale Super Sport
Thursday
9:30-10:30am Monterey Park
11am-12pm Pasadena (Downtown)
8-9pm Mid Wilshire
Friday
9:30-10:30am Pasadena (North Halstead St.)
Saturday
11am-12pm Pasadena (North Halstead St.)
Well, I’m just going to assume you’ll forgive me for this being a day late and this being the first time I’ve posted since last week. Just like I assumed (ie. prayed) everyone would forgive me for forgetting that the class I subbed this morning normally starts at 9am while all morning I was thinking that it started at 9:30 (like my other morning classes). I realized my error at about 8:54, leapt out the door and down the stairs, and thanked my lucky stars that I only live 10 minutes from the studio with few redlights in between. I was 3 minutes late and we started class with a few minutes of breathing and settling which, man oh man, if they didn’t need it, I certainly did.
I feel very excellent and nourished today after a very restful Sunday! I can’t say that I felt like this all weekend since on Friday night a friend and I went to happy hour at a cute little restaurant, followed by second happy hour at a sneaky little back bar, followed by regular old later in the night drinks at the neighborhood standard. Five drinks at night and teaching two yoga classes in the morning don’t really mix, per say, so Saturday afternoon called for a nap and some water and then a lot more water. (-)
I’m Christmas shopping in person and online, basically everywhere I go, and I’m so excited to be going home in just over a week! (+)
I made some new ones and saw some traditional ones this weekend. We went to a new (to me) nightclub for a wild and fun time, and some took me to the tastiest vegan junk food place that made me briefly stop to reconsider my non-vegan ways. (+)
After procrastinating tremendously, I completed ten hours of online training for a new part-time job and I’m psyched about it! I’ll be helping (mostly international) employees who have been relocated to work in Los Angeles get settled in, find housing, start driving, and generally figure out the city. It should be an adventure since I myself am still figuring out the city, but I have a bit more experience exploring and becoming acquainted with new places in a short time than most folks, so I’m hoping I can be of great help. (+)
Hmm there’s a delicate balance between making enough money to live and spending it all on Christmas presents. I’m trying to offer more handmade items and more of my presence this year, but there’s of course still a big part of me that doesn’t want to be known as the poor yoga lady who quit her real job and now gives only cheap gifts! I’m subbing a lot of extra yoga classes this week to keep things in the positive. (+)
Going out in Hollywood is still always an adventure to me! (+)
Well, I’m still crocheting the triangle scarf and I finished watching the Sopranos finally. I don’t know what to say about the ending… Also, at the diner in the last scene, everyone is eating onion rings by putting the whole thing into their mouths in one bite. Do you eat onion rings in that way?? I am much more of a multiple bites kind of gal. (+)
I am definitely realizing the power of a centering session. On Saturday, as I told you, I was in recovery from all the happy hours the night before. I took a nap and was wanting to feel fresh again, so I went to a class with one of my favorite LA teachers. It was harder than I expected a Yin/Yang class to be, but I left feeling so energized and completely reset. The teacher, Jeanne, is really something! (+)
Excited for as much cookie baking as possible this week and for New York travels next week. (+)