Healing

Reflecting back on the last few months has few months has me thinking: I’ve been meditating and chanting Hindu mantras, hanging out with Italian guys and eating delicious food in Sydney, and now exploring alternative healing practices in Bali… have I turned into Elizabeth Gilbert yet?? I was really wondering that on Monday when I went to see a traditional Balinese healer named Mr. Ketut.

Note: Half the men in Bali seem to be named Ketut, and Gilbert’s friend passed away a few years ago, so I can confirm that it was not the same healer from Eat, Pray, Love.

I wasn’t visiting the healer for any specific reason, apart from some minor aches and pains. But I was curious to see what the experience would be like, and I had been feeling a bit lethargic from all the physical resting I had done during January. I did some research and found that I didn’t want to go to the fancy spa/resorts that had good reviews because too expensive or to a non-Balinese person because also too expensive and I can do that in America. After reading carefully, I wound up at a place (Ubud Chakra Healing) with fewer reviews but a positive reputation. It was on the Monkey Forest Road across from the soccer fields in the back of a shop. I stopped by to make the appointment a couple days in advance and didn’t provide any other information.

When the day arrived, I wasn’t sure what to wear, so I wore my yoga pants and a tank top (I read that you’re supposed to dress modestly, but that’s all I had). I waited for a few minutes on the patio outside a family’s home and the young receptionist told me her father would be there soon. When the smiling and peaceful-looking healer arrived, we went upstairs to a room with a typical massage table and peaceful mantra music playing. I laid face up in my street clothes—beforehand I wasn’t sure if they’d give me something to change into.

He didn’t ask any advance questions about how I was feeling or why I was there, which I think is the way it should go. They say that during energy healing, the healer acts as a channel for the source energy to pass through. Their hands are supposedly guided to the places that need attention, and I think that sharing too much information might sway the healer to focus on those areas rather than letting the energy work naturally.

I closed my eyes and the healer held his hands over my head and face. He worked from my head down to my feet and back up, then instructed me to turn over for the other side. Sometimes he would gently press on a certain area or simply hold his hands over me. I read some reviews that Balinese healing sessions can be painful with a lot of kneading and pressing, but this session was very gentle with only light pressure—typically in Reiki and energy healing there is not a lot of massage or touching. I felt the most activity in my head. When Mr. Ketut pressed on my sinus area I felt a tingling sensation that lasted after the session. When he pressed his fingers above my eyebrows I could see in my mind’s eye a lot of light, almost like a strobe light or series of flashes that felt very intense. I could be wrong, but he seemed to spend extra time on my left knee, which has been giving me some trouble lately.

The whole process took about an hour and cost $40 USD (just sharing the details in case anyone reads this and is curious to try). Afterwards we sat and he asked how I was feeling. I told him I could still feel a bit of pressure and a pulsing sensation (not unpleasant) in my face and head. He didn’t speak much English, but he told me he felt some blocks in my heart area that he tried to work on. I was expecting some more revelations, but that’s all he told me. We sat for about five minutes so that I could drink water and let everything settle. I left the session feeling lighter and energized, and over the following week I have felt more energized, confident, and content.

The healer asked if I practice yoga and said that he could tell, because most people who come to see him already have a yoga or meditation practice. In my opinion, that’s a little bit of a shame because I think that all types of people can benefit from alternative healing methods. But of course there will always be some disbelievers or those who are less inclined to try.

You’ll see this crazy monkey statue at the corner of the soccer field on Monkey Forest Road

In yoga teaching these days, offering physical adjustments has become controversial—and with good reason, after we’ve seen many cases of longtime abuse being exposed. But I hope that, as teachers, we’ll continue to offer adjustments with consent, because even if you don’t believe in the energy work, there is something incredible about the healing power of touch. And I hope to live in a world where we aren’t afraid to reach out and touch someone— in a kind and mutually-agreed upon way, of course.

Yoga Workshop Day 2

I started taking yoga classes when I was 19 or 20. I was in college and it was just for fun. I remember learning from an older guy named Bill at the University of Delaware gym. My friend Annie and I would go and try to contain our laughter while he instructed us in partner poses and I would, more often than not, fall asleep in savasana. It felt relaxing and silly and like a perfectly lighthearted introduction to yoga.

The next year I started going more regularly. First two or three days a week, which eventually built up to five days. It started with Hatha yoga, where I learned slow movement, breath, and extended holds. I ventured outside the school gym to a studio down the street to learn Bikram. I liked how the heated room opened up my muscles that were tight from working out and playing volleyball. But I grew bored of repeating the same 26 poses every day. When I traveled to New York on breaks, I found a favorite studio and teacher back home. She was a former dancer who blended the foundations of yoga with creative sequencing. I fell in love with the fluid movement of vinyasa.

When I moved to Austin in 2013, I found that I could have it all. I joined a Bikram-based studio near my apartment that also offered other styles. Yoga gave me a feeling of home and sense of community in a new city. It was the same year that ClassPass started, and in the beginning an unlimited package of classes was unbelievably affordable. I tried just about every yoga studio in the city. I found my favorites (still BFree, Dharma, and Practice) and learned more and more. The quality of teachers and variety of classes made it easy for me to go every day, sometimes more than once a day.

I completed my first teacher training at Dharma and began teaching wherever I could. My long-time boyfriend abruptly ended our relationship and I cried in a lot of classes, seeking peace on the mat. By early 2018 during my last weeks in Austin, I was work-trading at BFree in exchange for a membership and taking two or three classes every day. My practice felt stronger than ever, and I was teaching two or three times a week.

Flash forward to Los Angeles, I was in deep. I completed my 500-hour advanced teacher training with YogaWorks and taught 10-15 classes a week. Keep in mind that 10-15 classes weekly isn’t even a full-time yoga teaching schedule for a new-ish/non-famous teacher—many teach up to 25! I was working other jobs as well. I was so grateful for the opportunity to teach and to learn from my mentor, Heather Seiniger, along with some other wonderful teachers in LA, but by the end of it all, I felt burnt out in my mind and worn out in my body.

In this week’s workshop with Kino MacGregor, we’ve been discussing the Yoga Sutras. These 196 sutras, or truths/statements, explain the basis of the philosophy of yoga. Historically, a person in India would have to memorize them all (!!!) in order to demonstrate that they were ready to begin the practice of yoga. Now, every teacher training covers them, but we’re only required to memorize about 3-5. I’m enjoying studying them more deeply with Kino because she has a deep knowledge of sanskrit, so we go through each word and break down the translation. I love learning languages, and it helps me to understand the full meaning when I can see the roots in a word.

On day two of the workshop, we talked about Sutra 1.14, which tells us the three necessary qualities of a yoga practice:

Practice becomes firmly established when it has been cultivated uninterruptedly and with devotion over a prolonged period of time.

Kino explained further that a solid yoga practice contains three elements:

1. For a long time- A “long time” can mean different things, but in this case it’s one human lifetime. No biggie.

2. Uninterrupted- Kino says six days a week for at least five minutes a day.

3. With devotion- Your intention matters. Why are you on the mat? Why are you practicing?

2019 was the first time that I took any significant breaks from taking yoga classes. During months that I was working and teaching a lot, I sometimes couldn’t find the motivation to drive to a class or do a whole video sequence. When I moved to Sydney, I got back on the horse and began a physically intense Ashtanga practice, but by the end of the year I found that pushing through old injuries and being so hard on my body was catching up to me. I needed to rest.

January 2020 has seen a slow start for my yoga. I haven’t taught a class since October, and my daily practice has often been rolling around on the floor or seated meditation. My mind doesn’t know what to do. Is the rest appropriate, or am I being lazy? Is Ashtanga not right for me, or have I been doing it wrong? Am I still a teacher if I take a break? What should my practice look like now?

This month I’ve been seeking out the answers. The love and devotion is still in my heart, but there has definitely been some interruption. I’m glad Kino mentioned that 5 minutes a day is enough, because that’s about all I’ve been able to muster so far this year. She also told us that it’s important to take a sabbatical from teaching every few years, and I’ve certainly appreciated that. Since October, I’ve been able to be a regular student from some of the best teachers in the world, and now I feel lit on fire, eager to share all I’ve learned. (starting in El Salvador next month!)

I’m also ready to return to a more balanced practice. This week in Bali has felt incredibly healing—thanks to breath work, chakra balancing, massage, and trauma release (I’m spoiled. I know)— and I miss the sweat and power of using my muscles within their limits. I don’t think I’ll go back to taking three classes a day while demonstrating poses alongside my students. But after a sweet period of recovery, it feels right to continue my yoga practice for the rest of this one human lifetime.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. <3

Namaste.

Expanding Expectations

The last time I came to Ubud I stayed a little outside the center in the most wonderful hotel. This time I wanted to be close to the yoga studio, so I’m in a guest house very close to Ubud market. I was nervous about staying so close to the main street—because it’s really busy and crowded with foot and road traffic—but the house is actually tucked away from the craziness of the center. I’ve been waking up each morning to the sounds of roosters crowing down the street. Then I step out onto the patio to enjoy a breakfast of what has been pancakes every day so far and might continue to be pancakes every day that I’m here.

There is a lot more to Ubud than meets the eye. The obvious place to start is the main road where you can find the market, Ubud Palace, and the Saraswati temple. But if those are your only tastes of the city, you might leave underwhelmed. The magic is out in the rice fields with views of volcanoes and banana trees. And in the little side streets with local people living their regular lives, nearby waterfalls, Indonesian warungs (restaurants), and healthy new-age healing spots.

Simply being in Bali is healing on its own. However, during this visit I’m also opening up to trying some “out-there” healing methods. After the workshop on day one, I stayed for the next class on “Deep Psoas Release Exercises” and spent the hour and a half fatiguing my hip flexors to then allow them to shake uncontrollably in order to release whatever needed to be released in there. It was astonishing to feel how much they would shake and how the shaking would travel through my body—into the back of the legs and all the way up into the abdomen. The teacher was a mystical woman who had a safe and calming energy. When I saw that she was leading a “Breath Work Trauma Release” class the next day, I decided to return… to be continued…

Our Canyon Ranch Vacation, Day 2

Pardon the interruption as I was taking a little Thanksgiving break, but I’ll return to our detailed account of a Canyon Ranch vacay! Day 2 was our first full day of taking advantage of everything the resort had to offer.

6:15am My mom’s alarm goes off and I reconsider my level of interest in the morning walk. It’s cold! And I didn’t sleep well the night before. But I decide to urge myself out of bed so I can see more of the scenery around the ranch.

7:00am We meet in one of the gyms with a group of other walkers to split up into three groups. There are 30, 40, and 50-minute guided walks and the leaders are very peppy for my 7am self. We decide to stick to the middle and head out for a nice walk. I decide to decorate my future home in the color scheme of a Saguaro cactus desert.

8:00am The air warms up on the walk and I see some of my favorite cacti. We’ve worked up an appetite so we head to one of the breakfast options for pretty much anything we could possibly want to eat for breakfast including a fruit/yogurt/oatmeal bar, omelette station, pancakes, waffles, eggs, and other special menu items.

9:00am We take another yoga class, foregoing my promise to try new and different things.

10:00am We stumble upon some kind of cardio class that uses exercise balls and Bosu trainers. I like it and it gives me some new ideas for my own workouts. Then I head back to the room to work on a writing project for a little bit while my mom goes off to join another class.

12:00pm We visit one of the lunch and learn sessions in the demo kitchen where a chef shows you how to make yummy healthy meals while you watch him work and then get to eat whatever he’s making. We learn about brown butter shrimp and winter squash gnocchi, and I’m happy to devour it. I learn that you can make gnocchi much, much more easily by putting the dough into a pastry bag, and then squeezing out a bit and slicing it straight into boiling water. I’ll have to try this at home.

2:00pm Water aerobics! I am not usually a fan of swimming in outdoor pools when it’s below 80 degrees, but the water is heated and I’m trying new things so I join the pool full of eager classmates. It’s not bad, but too cold for me and run-swim-leaping from side to side across the pool is not enough to warm my spirits. I want to quit early but I like the teacher and don’t want her to think it’s because of her. Probably won’t do water aerobics in November again.

3:30pm We stick to our afternoon spa date and enjoy the hot tub(s). I try to master my mind and body by dipping into the cold tub. I turn my back to the clock and try to last a minute, which ends up being the longest 60 seconds of my life. I’m not sure how long you’re supposed to stay in the cold dip so I retreat back to the scalding waters of the hot tub. I think the cold helps my muscles though since I don’t feel sore at all the next day.

5:00pm We return to the room to get ready for dinner, and my mom spots a group of these babies just outside our door:

[via]

6:30pm We eat in the same restaurant as the night before. There’s no need to branch out when the entire menu looks and is so good!

8:00pm My mom booked us massage appointments, which is one of the best ways ever to round out the day. My masseuse is a little heavy on the foot massaging, but I’m thankful for the overall pampering. I fall asleep easily again.

Hands-on Healing

One thing I love about teaching is that it cannot be separated from the other meditative practices that I'm working on in life. As I teach and work to improve my teaching, I am continuously reminded to step myself, the ego, out of the way. It's distracting to wonder throughout class, "Am I doing this right? Are my words getting through to everyone? Do they like me?" Sometimes it feels impossible not to have those thoughts, but the more I focus my attention on what I'm doing, the more it seems like the teaching is coming from a deeper source, and I'm just another student along for the ride. 

And I'm sure it comes as no surprise that the yoga world has led me to other forms of spiritual practice and healing. It seems like every yoga teacher these days eventually becomes enveloped in a circle of tarot cards, a force field of crystals, and the mist of essential oils. My journey led me last week to become initiated in a more ancient form of energy healing, called Reiki.

I visited my teacher, Mer's, house for the initiation ceremony where she worked with me to explain the details and benefits of the practice:

"Reiki is a Japanese word that means Spiritually Guided Life Force Energy or Universal Life Force Energy. It’s an ancient form of energy healing that has a Higher Intelligence that knows exactly how to heal the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels of
our bodies."

Reiki is a hands-on healing technique that balances the spirit, promotes joy, and supports a health body. It has been found to lower blood pressure, reduce stress, lower respiration rate, raise red blood cell count, fight insomnia, and, anecdotally, produce some healing miracles.

As Mer and I discussed the format of a healing session, many of the Reiki principles rang true to me, because doesn't this sound like what we should be doing for each other all the time?

• Focus on the person's highest good
• Stay in the present moment
• Provide a safe space that is comforting
• Stay away from ego
• Always work with integrity and authenticity

Even if you're not a believer in a thing called Universal Life Force Energy, there is something special about the healing power of touch and a conscious connection between two human beings. 

I'll be spending the next month or so practicing Reiki on myself, so that I may soon be able to offer it to others. Stay tuned!