Yoga Workshop Day 4

Day four of the workshop focused a lot on physical practice. We learned more about backbends from an old skeleton who hilariously happened to be losing some limbs during Kino’s discussion. We hoped that wouldn’t happen to us when it was our turn to try! By the end of the session, I had learned even more about a safe backbending practice that I think will help me on the road to recovery from a long-ago injury. One of the main reasons I enjoy going to workshops with different teachers is to learn little techniques that have a tremendous impact on my practice. Sometimes you can hear a few people teach the same thing, but for some reason one teacher will say it in a way that finally clicks and stays with your forever.

For anyone who isn’t lucky enough to practice at a studio with a teacher for whatever reason—and this has been me pretty often lately— here are some pieces of advice from Kino on establishing and maintaining a home practice:

• Practice at the same time every day— This will help you stay consistent and avoid potential excuses or distractions.

• Attend a public class once a month— Or, if that’s not possible, attend a workshop once a year. Try to do it with the same teacher every time so they can get to know you and your practice.

• Choose only one “project” per practice— Focus on one key thing each time you practice. For example, this could be an intention or your breath, or something physical like keeping your core engaged during forward folds.

• Guard your energy— Your practice shouldn’t leave you 100% drained and unable to do anything else for the rest of the day. It’s nice to challenge yourself, but yoga should leave you feeling empowered and energized, not completely spent. If you find yourself with too much energy after a home practice, it could be time to attend a public class to get some new ideas.

Our yoga sutra discussion was short on this day. We talked about the popular 2.46 which tells us that a yoga posture should be both strong and comfortable. Once that is achieved, we can let go of unnecessary effort and focus our attention on the infinite (2.47).

The following sutra was new to me—what should we expect to happen when we do the asanas (physical poses) correctly? Number 2.48 says that we no longer become influenced by opposites or duality. In making the asana both strong and comfortable, we balance two opposites: sthira (strength) and sukha (ease). In the same way, we begin to balance other pairs of opposites in life such as like/dislike, mine/yours, pleasure/pain, etc. We are become free to remain steady without the constant distraction of running towards what we like and away from what we don’t like. We clear up space to focus on the higher limbs of yoga— pranayama (breath work), pratyahara (sense control), meditation, and, perhaps, transcendence. Finally, we find a lasting peace that is not impacted by the ups and downs of life.

Yoga Workshop Day 2

I started taking yoga classes when I was 19 or 20. I was in college and it was just for fun. I remember learning from an older guy named Bill at the University of Delaware gym. My friend Annie and I would go and try to contain our laughter while he instructed us in partner poses and I would, more often than not, fall asleep in savasana. It felt relaxing and silly and like a perfectly lighthearted introduction to yoga.

The next year I started going more regularly. First two or three days a week, which eventually built up to five days. It started with Hatha yoga, where I learned slow movement, breath, and extended holds. I ventured outside the school gym to a studio down the street to learn Bikram. I liked how the heated room opened up my muscles that were tight from working out and playing volleyball. But I grew bored of repeating the same 26 poses every day. When I traveled to New York on breaks, I found a favorite studio and teacher back home. She was a former dancer who blended the foundations of yoga with creative sequencing. I fell in love with the fluid movement of vinyasa.

When I moved to Austin in 2013, I found that I could have it all. I joined a Bikram-based studio near my apartment that also offered other styles. Yoga gave me a feeling of home and sense of community in a new city. It was the same year that ClassPass started, and in the beginning an unlimited package of classes was unbelievably affordable. I tried just about every yoga studio in the city. I found my favorites (still BFree, Dharma, and Practice) and learned more and more. The quality of teachers and variety of classes made it easy for me to go every day, sometimes more than once a day.

I completed my first teacher training at Dharma and began teaching wherever I could. My long-time boyfriend abruptly ended our relationship and I cried in a lot of classes, seeking peace on the mat. By early 2018 during my last weeks in Austin, I was work-trading at BFree in exchange for a membership and taking two or three classes every day. My practice felt stronger than ever, and I was teaching two or three times a week.

Flash forward to Los Angeles, I was in deep. I completed my 500-hour advanced teacher training with YogaWorks and taught 10-15 classes a week. Keep in mind that 10-15 classes weekly isn’t even a full-time yoga teaching schedule for a new-ish/non-famous teacher—many teach up to 25! I was working other jobs as well. I was so grateful for the opportunity to teach and to learn from my mentor, Heather Seiniger, along with some other wonderful teachers in LA, but by the end of it all, I felt burnt out in my mind and worn out in my body.

In this week’s workshop with Kino MacGregor, we’ve been discussing the Yoga Sutras. These 196 sutras, or truths/statements, explain the basis of the philosophy of yoga. Historically, a person in India would have to memorize them all (!!!) in order to demonstrate that they were ready to begin the practice of yoga. Now, every teacher training covers them, but we’re only required to memorize about 3-5. I’m enjoying studying them more deeply with Kino because she has a deep knowledge of sanskrit, so we go through each word and break down the translation. I love learning languages, and it helps me to understand the full meaning when I can see the roots in a word.

On day two of the workshop, we talked about Sutra 1.14, which tells us the three necessary qualities of a yoga practice:

Practice becomes firmly established when it has been cultivated uninterruptedly and with devotion over a prolonged period of time.

Kino explained further that a solid yoga practice contains three elements:

1. For a long time- A “long time” can mean different things, but in this case it’s one human lifetime. No biggie.

2. Uninterrupted- Kino says six days a week for at least five minutes a day.

3. With devotion- Your intention matters. Why are you on the mat? Why are you practicing?

2019 was the first time that I took any significant breaks from taking yoga classes. During months that I was working and teaching a lot, I sometimes couldn’t find the motivation to drive to a class or do a whole video sequence. When I moved to Sydney, I got back on the horse and began a physically intense Ashtanga practice, but by the end of the year I found that pushing through old injuries and being so hard on my body was catching up to me. I needed to rest.

January 2020 has seen a slow start for my yoga. I haven’t taught a class since October, and my daily practice has often been rolling around on the floor or seated meditation. My mind doesn’t know what to do. Is the rest appropriate, or am I being lazy? Is Ashtanga not right for me, or have I been doing it wrong? Am I still a teacher if I take a break? What should my practice look like now?

This month I’ve been seeking out the answers. The love and devotion is still in my heart, but there has definitely been some interruption. I’m glad Kino mentioned that 5 minutes a day is enough, because that’s about all I’ve been able to muster so far this year. She also told us that it’s important to take a sabbatical from teaching every few years, and I’ve certainly appreciated that. Since October, I’ve been able to be a regular student from some of the best teachers in the world, and now I feel lit on fire, eager to share all I’ve learned. (starting in El Salvador next month!)

I’m also ready to return to a more balanced practice. This week in Bali has felt incredibly healing—thanks to breath work, chakra balancing, massage, and trauma release (I’m spoiled. I know)— and I miss the sweat and power of using my muscles within their limits. I don’t think I’ll go back to taking three classes a day while demonstrating poses alongside my students. But after a sweet period of recovery, it feels right to continue my yoga practice for the rest of this one human lifetime.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. <3

Namaste.

Yoga Workshop Day 1

When I mentioned to my grandma that I would be attending yet another yoga retreat, she was confused. “So, when you go to all these workshops and retreats, will you be learning new yoga or is it the same yoga?”

Ha ha. Since yoga as a spiritual practice has been around in India for about 5,000 years, I guess it’s the same yoga. It’s kind of like asking someone who goes to church every Sunday if it’s new church every week or the same church. And it’s important to remember that yoga didn’t start as an hour long exercise class to stretch out tight muscles. It is a spiritual practice that consists more of lifestyle and meditation than of the poses—physical asana is only one of the eight limbs of yoga.

In our first day of workshop with Kino we talked about how true progress in yoga is measured by the internal work. The purpose of yoga is to reach a state of non-reactivity.

If you read my last post about going to breathwork trauma release class and thought, “What kind of trauma do you have to release?”, well, the answer is that we all have experienced trauma, even if we don’t realize it. Even if you had an easy upbringing, there are still childhood memories of feeling ashamed or abandoned that are stored in the body and remembered. Then, of course, there are the everyday activities of living in society and interacting with one another

We go about our days experiencing a constant stream of stimuli, seeking what we think will make us happy and avoiding what we don’t like. Or worrying about the future and reflecting on the past. Yoga tries to get us to break up these habitual thoughts and to create a little bit of space between the stimulus and our immediate reaction, so that we can breathe.

Yeah, it’s interesting and exciting to learn to bend the body into new shapes. And yeah, I have (and maybe you have) heard a lot of the yoga philosophy before today. But if you, like me, have spent quite a lot of time living in society and thinking the same thoughts, maybe you’ve found that it’s necessary to learn the same lessons and practice the same good habits over and over until they fully mix things up and create new patterns in our lives. They say that freedom is what lies in the space between stimulus and response. So, I’ll be here practicing the same old yoga to become a little more free.

Pro-Aging

Hi Tuesday, here we are! I’ve probably told you a bunch of times by now, but the way I learned meditation and started a consistent practice was by using the 21-Day Meditation Experience with Oprah and Deepak. I love it and continue to use it because each session offers a brief opening talk, followed by 10-12 minutes of silent meditation. This month the talks discuss the secrets to maintaining a youthful spirit as we age. The topic seems unnecessary for me since dozens of people in the past week have said that I look 19 or younger. Great! I do think it is slightly rude of them to always be commenting on my young and innocent appearance because I would never tell anyone else how old I think they look. But I’m out here, still getting carded at the bar and for R-rated movies.

Nonetheless, I have been learning a lot from Deepak’s opening lectures about cultivating abundant energy and lifelong youth. I do believe it’s within all of our grasps. Here are seven tools that Deepak says are helping people age with grace:

1. Meditation

2. Social Support System

3. Close Emotional Ties with Family & Friends

4. Multivitamins & Minerals

5. Good Sleep & Daily Activity

6. Lifelong Curiosity

7. Willingness to Undertake New Challenges

Sunday Special, Vol. 4

Welcome to September! Here we are on a Sunday that's like a Saturday with a Monday like a Sunday coming soon. I spent the last days of August on an exciting trek up to June Lake and Yosemite, and I will tell you about it very soon. Here's the check in:

Health

Well, I was an unsupervised child on the camping grocery trip so things started off with apples and turkey sandwich supplies but quickly flew off the rails with chocolate pretzels, hot Cheetos, and frosted mini wheats a.k.a. crack cocaine. I tried to make a comeback later in the week, but yesterday after yoga in Santa Monica, I figured why not stop at Sidecar Doughnuts because, really, WHY NOT? There was a very intriguing chef's special chocolate chip donut with cookie dough in the middle (a cookie doughnut, if you will) that I could not resist, but it ended up being a bit too much even for my sweet stomach. If you haven't been to Sidecar, you certainly should, but my belly advises you to keep it simple with Huckleberry or Butter & Salt.  (-)

Family

Monday was my dad's birthday, so I sent him an electric knife since that is a thing dads are asking for as birthday gifts. A major highlight of the gift was finding the perfect card featuring a pug (do you know I love pugs?) flipping pancakes with the greeting "Dad, you're flipping awesome!" (+)

Friends

Even though the mid-week camping trip was solo, it's been so nice to continue growing a broader group of friends here in LA. The yoga teacher trainings have introduced me to many wonderful people, and I've been running into friends in almost every class now. Also, on Friday night, other friends took me to an extra special art event where we scored some patches and gummy octopi (I guess that was a plus and a minus due to other indiscretions which you can read about in the Health section of this post). (+)

Intimate Relationships

I prefer to keep this section private for now :)

Mission/Work

My teaching schedule was pretty light this week because I had originally planned on going to Burning Man, but all of the arrangements didn't come together as I'd hoped. On the bright side, I picked up a new permanent class--Thursday mornings at 9:30 at 24 Hour Fitness Monterey Park! -- and (sort of) started a monthly email newsletter for yoga happenings. (+)

Finances

Still a minus because I was not very firm about sticking to my two times eating out budget for the week. Better luck next time. (-)

Adventure

Very big adventures were accomplished this week! Camping on my own for the first time was a rousing success! And I picked up a National Park Annual Pass in the hopes that many more journeys will follow. (+++++)

Hobby

Do camping, reading, and yoga count? I got a little frustrated with piano practice because I'm never certain if I'm putting my fingers in the right spots on the keys. My grandma says I need real lessons instead of a book/YouTube. Do you play? Any advice for a confused beginner? (+)

Spirituality

Being on my own up north allowed me to experience a connection to nature while I read more about mindful presence with Jon Kabat-Zinn. I had a reassuring feeling of being home and safe in new places, but of course there's always the need to put down my phone more often and just be. (+)

Emotion

Emotions were on high this week since my busy mind loves venturing from place to place. I'm always packing as much into each day as possible, although that can make me a little restless. I'm slowly learning to spend more time sitting when I haven't scheduled a surplus of activities. (+)

Happy long weekend! I hope your sweet days are filled with what you love.

Manifested Month

I'm happy to tell you that over the past year, basically since going on Echo's yoga retreat in Thailand, I have been able to stick to a daily meditation practice. I've found that it has been immensely helpful in staying connected to my spirit and my intentions and being more mindful throughout the day. Every morning, I wake up and sit for 10-15 minutes as I focus on my breath or a mantra. Sometimes my mind wanders, but lately it's gotten much easier to keep my head clear. 

I've probably told you before, but one of my favorite meditation tools has been the 21-Day Meditation Experience with Oprah and Deepak. I think it's helpful for anyone who is new to mediation, and I love the balance of Oprah's personal stories and Deepak's spiritual wisdom. Even if it's hard for you to stay focused during the ~12 minute mediation section, there are usually 10 minutes in the beginning where you'll learn something important. 

This month's theme focused on the Law of Attraction and what it takes to turn our desires into reality. It felt aligned to my own purpose, because this year I've been seeing more and more of my visions come into being. I remember one of Oprah's stories about growing up in poverty, but choosing to spend her time walking around well-off neighborhoods. She dreamed of living in a house with trees in the backyard, and later as an adult she realized that her own backyard matched what she'd once envisioned.

I particularly noticed happenings like this in my own life when I spent last month living a mile from the beach in Santa Monica. Here are my best tips (really Oprah's best tips) for creating a life that aligns with your dreams:

1. Get clear about what you want: This one is hard for me! I wasn't so sure about exactly what I wanted. I only knew more yoga and more ocean time would be nice. I'm not a great example of this, but bring some clarity to your goals.

2. Visualize yourself where you want to be: When we're manifesting, setting goals, or whatever you want to call it, it's important to really believe that it could happen for you. No problem; imagining life as a yoga beach babe is easy for me! I added some extra oomf with pictures on my vision board: the ocean and a bungalow near the beach.

3. Act as if you've already obtained your desires: Get as close to living out your desires as you can. My first months in LA, I spent a ton of time in Santa Monica. Most of the time, it wasn't intentional. I'd just take a yoga class there and spend the evening waiting out traffic. I have a feeling that spending so much time there made it easy to end up back again. 

4. Don't give up: Sometimes it can take years for our deepest desires to pan out. Sometimes it takes a lot of shaking up to make space for them. Sometimes they show up differently than we ever expected. In June, I had basically given up hope on subletting a place for the next month-- I resigned myself to the ~3 hours of driving back and forth from yoga training. Then I decided to check Craigslist "one last time" and found exactly what I was looking for.

Even if you don't believe in magical manifestations or think the law of attraction is a whole bunch of nonsense, it can be exciting and empowering to set goals (small or large!) for yourself and work your way there. Hope your life is growing closer and closer to all that you've dreamed!

*If you're feeling the call towards a Thai yoga retreat this year, Echo & Cole are going back so check it out!

Storytelling

Two years ago, during my yoga teacher training course at Dharma Yoga, one of our teachers, Camila, shared a story to demonstrate the level of power our reactions have over our experiences. That same story came back to me two times in recent weeks, so I decided to include it (or at least a much less eloquent version than the one Camila told) at the beginning of one of my new yoga videos. 

In the parable of a Chinese farmer, one day the farmer's horse runs away. His neighbors hear about it, and they come over to express their concern. The farmer is unaffected; he says "I do not know whether this is good news or bad news. All I know is that my horse has run away. We will see what happens." The next day, his horse returns with a group of horses. The neighbors are back, this time to convey their excitement. Again the farmer replies, "I do not know whether this is good news or bad news. We will see what happens." Soon, while his son is helping to break in one of the horses, he falls off and breaks his leg. The neighbors, of course, are anxious. The farmer is much less worried. "All I know is that my son has broken his leg," he says. "We'll see what happens." Then, some short time in the future, the army comes to town to enlist young men to serve as soldiers in a battle with a neighboring village. The son's injury saves him from being drafted. The neighbors stay at home that day.

When something unexpected happens to us in life, we can be so quick to categorize it as a positive or negative event. Much of our energy is spent celebrating little successes or course-correcting when something goes wrong. However, over the course of a lifetime, we find many examples where what seemed like a loss eventually resulted in a much greater gain, or when we yearned for something that only led to trouble down the road. The example of the Chinese farmer teaches us to sit quietly and observe while we take in a wider perspective. When we step back from the day-to-day action, we are able to see that these small ups and downs become part of a more majestic whole.

I hope you are enjoying the videos! Thank you for putting up with my story telling.

Namaste.

A Silent Stay

While in Bali, I had the chance to fulfill an interest that has been sparking my curiosity for a long time by spending a night at a silent retreat. While I don't think I stayed quite long enough to fully experience the plentiful benefits of time spent in silence, the retreat center provided a brief glimpse of all that can be gained from being alone with yourself in such a peaceful place.

Before my arrival, I was nervous. I had received recommendations, but I didn't think I would have enough time to go since I was (very sadly) only in Bali for four days and the retreat center is about an hour and a half outside of Ubud. Then it just so happened that I ended up with a free night and didn't have anywhere else scheduled to stay so I checked for openings and, after finding a few, made a reservation.

I wasn't sure when the silence would start. Would the van driver talk to me after picking me up? Would reception just hand me a bag and a list of instructions? How would I make travel arrangements to come back to the next day? All my concerns abated when I arrived to find the most cheerful and talkative Balinese woman waiting to check me in and show me around. The reception hut was an open talking zone, and she still toured me around the grounds in whispers after we had passed the white flags that started the zone of silence on the property.

My first surprise was at how much there was to do. There were five hours of guided yoga and meditation classes offered each day-- 2.5 in the morning and another 2.5 at night. Around the retreat center there were also many opportunities for more solitary mediation which could take place under a waterfall, in a labyrinth walking maze, or on a jungle trek through the woods. There was full library in the lounge and three mealtimes provided tasty, vegetarian, and organic buffets. There were lectures on green living, and frequent field trips where you could talk to the other guests. It was a light and delicious introduction to the more serious vipassana or ashram experience.

The second surprise was that dinner was set out between 4:30 and 6pm, right after the afternoon round of yoga and meditation. On the first day, I had to do some extra fast-paced jungle trekking to be ready for a meal at that time, but it helped to get into the habit of eating less and resisting the urge to try everything on the table... for the most part. It was a little uncomfortable to be around the other visitors without greeting anyone, but most people shared smiles and held doors for each other. Some even broke the rules a bit to mouth a "thank you".

The final surprise helped make sense of why dinner was so early. Since the retreat center runs efficiently on solar power, the lights in the main buildings turn off around 7, and most of my dorm mates were turning off their bed lamps to go to sleep at 8. It's a wonder how quickly our bodies adapt to the rhythm of nature when we don't have electronics to disrupt or entertain. I lay awake that night for a while listening to all the sounds outside, but eventually fell asleep feeling blessed to be in such a beautiful place.

Why I Came to Thailand, Pt. 2

Before embarking on this trip, it was hard for me to answer when my friends and family asked why I was coming to Thailand for a yoga retreat. There were many reasons that I was unable to briefly summarize into a single response. I'd never been to Asia before. I felt called here because of my prior connection with Echo. I had seen friends traveling to Thailand and Bali (and posting photos of jungles and monkeys), and I was envious of their escapades. I wanted to be around people who were living creative, non-conventional lives and learn from them. But mostly, I thought, I liked practicing yoga, and Thailand seemed like an interesting location in which to do it.

On the first night of the retreat, we meditated together, and then took a moment to write down our intentions for the remainder of our time together. Why did I come here? What was I hoping to get out of this? I thought my answer would be a little more hands-off. Yoga and Thailand. Yoga in Thailand. Did I really need to say more? Throughout my journey, I've done this kind of thing many times—set intentions for the practice, notice how my body folds into various shapes, share meditative experiences with strangers and see how in a day they become close friends. Even when people cry or reveal hopelessly frustrated dark nights of the soul, I'm not surprised because my mind has been there, too. When it comes to journaling and holding hands in circles, I'm an old pro.

But on that first night of focus, preparing for a week of what I hoped would provide clarity and a light on the path to bliss, my mind's eye revealed something more. I always like to pretend that I'm an expert at things, exceedingly nervous to show flaws in whatever I'm meant to be knowledgable about. Yoga, meditation, travel—no big deal for me! I'm a teacher! I've been to 30 countries! However, during meditation that night, after a week of flying over countries and oceans, carrying heavy backpacks, and taking in so much of the external world, it felt so welcoming to return to my mat. Even though I was a full twelve hours time difference from where I normally live, I was grounded. I was home.

As I sat there trying to settle on an intention or a reason to write on my little slip of paper, I could finally see the childlike part of me that was kneeling in the presence of these timeless teachings, patiently and earnestly hoping to see and learn. I didn't need to try to sound cool, experienced, or knowledgeable with a load of classes, workshops, and explorations under my belt. I'm here because there's so much that I haven't seen and so much that I don't know. I saw clearly the innocence in me of someone who never feels like an expert, who has found that the road to self-discovery is as challenging as it is rewarding. My intention in that moment, which remains with me as I write this now, is to hold onto that vision of myself, and to recognize it in everyone around me. I want to realize the unblemished wonder with which we are all encountering this world, and look past any disguises, fancy language, or walls that get in the way. And then, of course, to see some monkeys, too.

Namaste.