Spilling Secrets

Last weekend, my dad was off in Maryland visiting family and checking out the devastating flood damage in a little city that I love so much. During his catching up with one of our family members who happens to be an avid follower of this blog, it was mentioned that I haven't been posting as much recently. I suppose that's because I was jet-setting a bit and trying to make the most of time with friends and family. But I suppose it's also because I have a secret..

I find that it's more difficult to write here during times of uncertainty. It's easier for me to tell you about travels, tasty snacks, and the best hiking trails than to talk about the scattered pieces of real life and my silent search for the next steps. But there are a lot of other places where you could find elephant photos and hiking trails, so you're probably not here for the fluff. I like that about you.

Back in May, after a few indecisive weeks and a very decisive car accident, I decided to end my term of service with AmeriCorps. I felt guilty and unsure. I didn't want to be quitter, but I knew that the job was not what I expected and was not matching up to the path I wanted my life to take. It seemed like the work experience was based on the dreams of a previous version of me, who had a particular idea of what "work" has to mean, but no longer fit with my goals and vision. On top of that, I'm sure it comes as no surprise that it's a bit challenging to pluck a traveling yogi off the mat and stick them in a fluorescent office with a 90 minute commute.

Once I made the decision, other factors started to fall into place. My manager and coworkers were all very supportive, making it even harder to leave. Space opened up for me to visit home and reconnect with my roots. And some new summer developments have come together that I will tell you about soon!

I'm trying to feel more confident in doing what I know is right for me, without worrying about how it might be perceived. I never want to stop helping people and serving my community, I just want to do it through work that feels purposeful to me. Thank you for being here and keeping me honest.

Wishy-washy Wisdom

There was a time this year when I found myself offering advice to two different friends on two different days. One friend was fearful of taking a risk, and I told her something along the lines of, "Life is short, you should go for it!" Later in the same week, another friend worried about making a mistake, so I told her, "Life is long! You can always course correct!"

Hm... From these conflicting examples we can learn that if you're looking for advice, you should probably ask someone besides me!

Just kidding. Sort of. 

I wonder, who am I to be giving advice? Oftentimes I'm scared that this blog will just end up as a snapshot of my wavering career path, back and forth between finding a solution, and then abandoning that solution for a shift to something completely different. I surely don't have a lot of answers, but I certainly have lived out quite a few different scenarios!

So, I stand by my wishy-washy words of wisdom. Life IS short! It's too short to spend most of your time doing something you can't stand-- too short to sweep your dreams under the rug or put them off for years ahead. Then again, for most of us, life IS long, too. It's long enough to take risks and make mistakes. In retrospect, an event that feels like the "end of the world" can turn into a tiny blip in your rearview mirror.  Follow your gut, don't think TOO much, and trust the path that sings to your heart. Life is as short as it is long, in all the best ways.

Getting Grounded

Last week I crashed my car in a bad way which could have gotten me hurt or killed. I'm glad I didn't die, because I like living quite a bit! The accident was all my fault, so I'm glad I didn't hurt or kill anyone else, because I like other people quite a bit, too!

Things around me have been changing a lot lately, and since I've gotten settled into life in LA, I've been working my 3-4 jobs, most days being out of the house from 8am to 8 or 9pm. I always say that I love being busy, and it seems like I have an endless supply of energy that keeps me on the go. I'm not sharing my daily habits because they are unusual, but because I think a lot of us are running around, living to our limits, and sometimes it takes a big wake up call to come back to the place where our bodies and minds are in balance.

It feels like I'm being called to slow down and make some further changes, so stay tuned. In the meantime, I'll be taking it easy on the roads and making sure to get my feet in contact with solid ground more than once in a while.

What I'm Doing & Why

Hi friends! Last week, which began with my 30th birthday, I went on a little stay-cation to the luxurious (seriously!) Crowne Plaza LAX airport hotel to participate in training for my second year of AmeriCorps. For the next year, I'll be serving as an AmeriCorps VISTA with Bright Prospect, an organization that helps low-income high school students get into and through college.

I've been pretty open about my move to Los Angeles, but I haven't told many people why I'm here and what I'm doing. That's partially because I'm always doing a lot of different things, and partially because I felt slightly silly to be a 30-year-old signing on for another year of AmeriCorps. 

If you're not familiar, AmeriCorps is a service program where volunteers work in underserved communities for a year or two (sometimes more) to make life better for the people living there. We act like full-time employees, but receive a very modest stipend that is designed to give us the experience of living in the communities in which we serve. VISTA is a program that specifically aims to fight poverty in those communities, and I'll be doing that by making sure high-potential high school students have access to higher education, regardless of their income level.

During my first year with AmeriCorps, I worked in a low-income elementary school and provided 1-on-1 reading instruction to 10-12 students per day. I wanted to test if I'd eventually like to become a certified teacher, and quickly found out that I did not! (Although 5-8 year olds can be pretty adorable.) When the year ended, I decided not to return from my leave of absence with IBM, and instead took some time to teach yoga, travel, and drive for Uber while I figured things out. I also also took a few courses in Graphic Design to pursue some personal and semi-professional interests on the side.

6 months later, I was finishing up my work/trade in Nicaragua and considering next steps, dreaming of Southern California like I had for a long time. I’d done a couple interviews in the area, but nothing really stuck. I kept getting the dreaded, “Contact us when you get out here!” But I wasn’t brave enough to move to one of the priciest places in the world without the promise of a job.

One day, I finally decided to browse the AmeriCorps jobsite-- just to see! I had mixed feelings about my first year. I learned so much about what humans are capable of; I was part of an awesome and irreplaceable team; I felt on fire about pursuing my passions and working with equally passionate people. At the same time, it was hard to record 1600 service hours for a stipend that barely covered rent. I also worried about how it would look. AmeriCorps is popular with the fresh out of college, idealist crowd, so almost everyone in my first program was 22 or 23. I'm 30 now, and I hear your 30’s are supposed to be about expanding your career, planning for a family, developing expertise, etc.

BUT the job seems perfectly aligned to what I’m looking for: it will be a lot of writing, putting my new graphic design skills to use, building experience in non-profit marketing, and gaining entry to the Golden State. This is a dream that I'm now living-- using the rewards from my previous more comfortable job to fund adventures and service projects that are important to me. What better way to invest? (The stock market, 401Ks, and personal property that would deliver long-term returns, you say? Nonsense! That's not for the life of a wandering spirit!)

I’m sure it will be a challenge going back to the 9-5 schedule, but I’m positive it will be a rewarding learning experience. And you can bet that the yoga teaching has already started and will continue on every evening and weekend possible. Thank you for following along and being here to read this! I'm so grateful for your continued support.

Chapel Hill

One positive part of growing up is that you might have more friends scattered about in more appealing places, so you can stretch your roaming limits (and budget) further than your younger network may have allowed. My friend Matt is the best kind of faraway friend who will even offer to sleep on the couch and give up their bed to let you rest your weary traveling bones. A gigantic thank you to him for taking me to all of the breweries, wood-fired pizzerias, and string-lit bars that are making Raleigh-Durham the next Austin/Denver/Brooklyn/Place for people who like food trucks and Snapchat. I didn't mind it one bit.

Being in Chapel Hill during spring break offered a time of reflection for me. Back when 16 year old Cori was checking out schools and planning her future, baby blue t-shirts and tar-covered heels were expected to be a major part of it. I did all of the AP-ing and SAT-ing asked of me. I went to their volleyball camp. I bought a lot of blue clothing items. I learned to appreciate vinegar barbecue. But still when the decision mail came, my envelope was disappointingly skinny instead of invitingly thick.

I was devastated and confused. I cried in my room a lot and quickly formulated plans to move in with my uncle so I could apply again as an NC resident. I'm pretty sure my best friend and I forged notes from our parents to skip Chemistry class and eat waffles, because we did that a lot anyway and because there is still nothing like waffles to heal a broken teenage heart. I think I only chose to go to Delaware later on because it had flowers and brick buildings and vaguely resembled UNC.

It was a long while before my focus started to shift. During Fall semester of sophomore year, I remember gathering my printed transfer applications, ready to be filled-in and sent off in the Spring. I was so sure that I knew where I was going and that there had to have been some strange mistake. It took a few years, a trip to Argentina, and a lot of new friends to convince me otherwise. I never ended up sending those transfer applications and I stayed at Delaware for two extra years. Now I only think about Chapel Hill once a year, in March, when I become a short-term college basketball fan.

Walking around the campus during my visit with Matt reminded me the importance of letting go when my thinking mind is so certain that it knows what's best for me. I realize how much we might miss if we try to squeeze our lives into the perfect plans that we've doubtlessly determined for them. Looking back, I can't imagine my path having gone any other way than it has. If I had transferred to North Carolina, I probably never would have met so many of my best friends, checked as many study abroad countries off my list, or become the mostly well-rounded person I am now. Or maybe by some universal magic I would have ended up as the same me in exactly the same place, but I definitely don't think I would have gotten to shake former Vice President Joe Biden's hand.

So I'm sending love to you, hoping you can always find the very, very good no matter how unexpectedly your path seems to be twisting. I believe it's all working itself out.