Mysore Practice: Day Three

We're three days deep into Ashtanga yoga training. I still have mostly no idea what I'm doing, but I've managed to memorize the primary series up to Bhuja Pidasana, which is the one where you bend over, put your hands on the ground, shimmy your thighs way up high on your shoulders, then sit your butt on your triceps and cross your feet in front of you. Are you getting the picture? Intermittently, I stop to peek around the room just to see what everyone else is up to and make sure I'm keeping good track of time. I see legs folded into lotus posture, guys doing backwards somersaults, and women rocking themselves around the mat in a shape that looks like somewhere between a pretzel and a long-legged turtle that got turned on its back. What nonsense have I been wasting my time with for the past ten years?

If yoga is a metaphor for life, I am thankful for my ability to keep going when the view of progress is clouded and still laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. My friends who told me about this training share stories from their Mysore classes, which are famous for not using blocks or other props. “Your suffering is a prop!” one of their teachers screamed at them. “Don't flex your muscles,” cued our leader today, “Use the muscles to support the bones!!!” I'm hysterical and exhausted and she's teaching me to lift myself up on my hands and float my feet back, and I'm rolling my eyes at her because that is just not going to happen today.

It's all such a silly mind game. We feel the frustrations of not being able to unlock certain poses. We celebrate successes only to be knocked down by our areas of weakness. We eat burgers after class because we're not real dedicated Ashtangis so maybe that's why I'm not able to lift my hips/butt/feet into the air, then we rinse and repeat the next day. Something has kept us coming back. I see the beauty, too. I've been doing this practice for so long and it's never ceased to be amazingly interesting to me. I am grateful for the flow, the repetition, the finesse, and the way I've felt led to certain teachers or how a pose that I once found overwhelmingly challenging comes easily to me at the right time.

Yoga is “to attain what was previously unattainable”, says Desikachar, son of Krishnamacharya, in the book I'm reading at the moment. I hope that that's true, I think, as I look around at everyone folded flat in Paschimottanasana or with their legs tucked neatly behind their heads. But outside of this room and this training that I was, perhaps, not wholly prepared for, I know that it is. Yoga has carried me across many state lines, transformed me from an atheist (or very agnostic at best) to a spiritual believer, and convinced me to do many things I was previously very afraid of doing. I've laughed, cried, sweated, struggled, but have never given up on the mat. I'm still here.

Australia: First Impressions

Whenever I travel to a new country these days, there's a certain need to categorize it and figure it out based on other countries I've visited. I've been working to label Australia in this way. When we were walking at night, Amanda told me that she was trying to imagine the familiar with new eyes and see our walk the way I'd see it, so I tried to take a deeper look at the way I was absorbing it all.

I'd always thought Australia would be so similar to California that it wouldn't make much of a difference to come here from LA. There would be tan laid-back people, beaches, and the same Pacific Ocean. Yes, the same one I'd been seeing for 15 straight hours on a plane— isn't that incredible?

It doesn't quite feel like I'm in a new country, but so far, Sydney isn't fitting into the bucket I'd set out for it. The air is different here. It looks like the west coast of the US, sort of, but the humidity reminds me more of an east coast beach town. The way I transported from the airport seemed like I was landing in Singapore, since the public transportation was so easy and efficient, and there's that European influence that can't be ignored.

I feel a little like I'm repeating a cycle of life. In October 2017, I flew to Singapore and then to Thailand for a yoga retreat (where I met Amanda). Now we're here together again, and I'll be participating in a yoga intensive next week. After that first adventure to this side of the world, I went on to teach yoga at a hotel in Nicaragua. This summer, I have plans to co-teach on a retreat to El Salvador. Same, same, but different.

What's the need to get a handle on a country anyway? Australia is Australia. It doesn't have to be broken down into bits of other places I've seen. It's the same way with people. As I get older, I think I can determine upon meeting someone what type of person they will be. I'd better stay away from that one because she's this way, or, ugh, why am I meeting another guy like him? I wonder if I can let my eyes be as new to this experience as they are. Can I take in a situation without judging it or predicting an ending just like one I've been through before?

Amanda says she feels like a completely separate person than the girl who went on that first retreat. I can tell when I look at her life now. She's content in her job and lives in a beautiful, walkable town where she's dedicated to building a life of healing spiritual practices. It's been an incredible transformation, and I'm so happy for her! My own life looks different from the outside when compared with fall of 2017, but I still find myself repeating patterns and thought cycles from that time. There must be more that I have to learn here.

500 Hours

I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, but last month I finished a 500 hour teaching training with YogaWorks here in LA. It feels surreal to be done, since it had been a goal of mine since 2016 when I finished my first 200 hour training in Austin. It even feels a little anti-climactic because I’d been attending intensive workshops every weekend since August, spending 8 hours in the studio studying topics like anatomy, Ayurvedic diets, practicing with chronic illness, and prenatal yoga. Now that I have my freedom back, what was it that I used to do on the weekends anyway?

The end to a training is always bittersweet. You’ve been spending so much time getting to know your fellow trainees and experiencing teaching transformations together as a group. You go through the highs of realization and grasping certain concepts and the lows of physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion and simply not wanting to unroll your mat that day at all. Then, suddenly, it’s time to say goodbye and graduate, and you’re sent on your way with a paper certificate to remind you that you spent the past six months actually doing something.

The feelings are a mixed bag. Some days, there’s immense gratitude for having had the time and space to study with highly trained teachers. At other times, there’s the sense of fear and loneliness that comes with having achieved a step in your plan. There’s less of a road map and no more hand holding, you’re off on your own now.

I’m taking time to process and digest all of the information we’ve been soaking in during the training. What kind of teacher do I want to be? What are my strengths and weaknesses? Where do I still have more to learn? Am I there yet? Will I ever be?

In the meantime, I’d like to share my final project for the 300 hour program. I worked with my friend, Amie Leigh, to develop a series of yoga videos for people who have ostomy bags. This idea has been close to my heart ever since I learned Amie Leigh’s story and heard about her growing interest in yoga. I’m happy with the results and I hope it ends up helping someone. Please share if you know anyone with a similar condition who might benefit from beginning a yoga practice.

Namaste!

This Year So Far

Where have I been? Maybe you are wondering.

Everywhere, it feels like!

Something about January has felt powerfully rejuvenating, but in the way that I want to stay introverted and careful about letting the heat leak out from within me. So I’ve been in my room, working on projects and experiencing what it’s like to plant my feet back in this new home. At the end of December, I really was everywhere. I took the most successful red-eye flight yet to New York to have a full day in NYC with my sister.

We saw the tree and ate some yummy brunch foods. What more can you hope to get out of a wintry day in Manhattan?

I didn’t get much recovery time, because the next day my dad drove us up to Vermont for a beautiful day of skiing. It was sunny and warm and everything ideal for a now-turned-California girl returning to the East Coast in December! Of course, we included our usual stop at the Vermont Country Store. I showed that I haven’t grown up all that much over the years— I ate all the free samples and a whole bag of assorted candy!

The rest of the week at home in New York was refreshing and full of fun and family. I was so grateful to be home this year because, if you remember, last year was a little lonely for me in another country. But I’ll take a Christmas wherever I can get it!

Then it was back to NYC for a full family fun day. Big aLICe Brewing kept us all happy and getting along, in spite of conflicting opinions about how we should spend the day. I’m glad my sister got to take charge and show us around her part of the city a little bit.

I returned to LA with a few days left of 2018 to spend enjoying the beach. I definitely wanted to close out the year with the ocean, taking some time to reflect on the big move out here and how I never have any idea where it will all go from here!

2018 Highlights

Whew! Sorry, y’all. I’ve been off the radar due to travels and times with family and friends. I promise I’ll be back in full force in the new year. Meanwhile, here’s the best of what 2018 brought for me. Stay safe and be well!

January

I woke up in Ometepe, Nicaragua after what was probably one of my most memorable New Year’s Eves.

February

I became a mermaid.

March

I moved to LA.

April

I turned 30 and went to Malibu with Mer.

May

I quit my job (again). And watched my little sister become a doctor.

June

I explored some.

July

I went home for a while.

August

I completed a(nother) yoga teacher training.

September

I visited my other home and watched two wonderful friends tie the knot.

October

I got dazed in the desert.

November

My mom took me to the spa.

December

That’s now! I’ve been teaching and crocheting a lot. And not writing on this blog. And I went home for nine days.

What a year! Stay safe and be well. I’ll see you in the next one. <3

Sunday Special, Vol. 17

Well, I’m just going to assume you’ll forgive me for this being a day late and this being the first time I’ve posted since last week. Just like I assumed (ie. prayed) everyone would forgive me for forgetting that the class I subbed this morning normally starts at 9am while all morning I was thinking that it started at 9:30 (like my other morning classes). I realized my error at about 8:54, leapt out the door and down the stairs, and thanked my lucky stars that I only live 10 minutes from the studio with few redlights in between. I was 3 minutes late and we started class with a few minutes of breathing and settling which, man oh man, if they didn’t need it, I certainly did.

Health

I feel very excellent and nourished today after a very restful Sunday! I can’t say that I felt like this all weekend since on Friday night a friend and I went to happy hour at a cute little restaurant, followed by second happy hour at a sneaky little back bar, followed by regular old later in the night drinks at the neighborhood standard. Five drinks at night and teaching two yoga classes in the morning don’t really mix, per say, so Saturday afternoon called for a nap and some water and then a lot more water. (-)

Family

I’m Christmas shopping in person and online, basically everywhere I go, and I’m so excited to be going home in just over a week! (+)

Friends

I made some new ones and saw some traditional ones this weekend. We went to a new (to me) nightclub for a wild and fun time, and some took me to the tastiest vegan junk food place that made me briefly stop to reconsider my non-vegan ways. (+)

Mission/Work

After procrastinating tremendously, I completed ten hours of online training for a new part-time job and I’m psyched about it! I’ll be helping (mostly international) employees who have been relocated to work in Los Angeles get settled in, find housing, start driving, and generally figure out the city. It should be an adventure since I myself am still figuring out the city, but I have a bit more experience exploring and becoming acquainted with new places in a short time than most folks, so I’m hoping I can be of great help. (+)

Finances

Hmm there’s a delicate balance between making enough money to live and spending it all on Christmas presents. I’m trying to offer more handmade items and more of my presence this year, but there’s of course still a big part of me that doesn’t want to be known as the poor yoga lady who quit her real job and now gives only cheap gifts! I’m subbing a lot of extra yoga classes this week to keep things in the positive. (+)

Adventure

Going out in Hollywood is still always an adventure to me! (+)

Hobby

Well, I’m still crocheting the triangle scarf and I finished watching the Sopranos finally. I don’t know what to say about the ending… Also, at the diner in the last scene, everyone is eating onion rings by putting the whole thing into their mouths in one bite. Do you eat onion rings in that way?? I am much more of a multiple bites kind of gal. (+)

Spirituality

I am definitely realizing the power of a centering session. On Saturday, as I told you, I was in recovery from all the happy hours the night before. I took a nap and was wanting to feel fresh again, so I went to a class with one of my favorite LA teachers. It was harder than I expected a Yin/Yang class to be, but I left feeling so energized and completely reset. The teacher, Jeanne, is really something! (+)

Emotion

Excited for as much cookie baking as possible this week and for New York travels next week. (+)

Sunday Special, Vol. 16

Yesterday someone asked how my week went, and I didn’t know what to tell them because, honestly, where did it go?? There’s something about these crazy days in between the Thanksgiving and other holidays that can make us lose all track of normalcy, grounding, and taking good care of ourselves. On the other hand, this weekend in yoga teacher training was really special for me because we spent 8 hours learning about Ayurveda, the nutritional side of yoga, which I find extremely interesting. I’m excited to share a little more with you in the next week or so. Anyway, happy Hanukkah if you’re into that and here’s a recap of the past week:

Health

I think I combated all the indulgence of Thanksgiving by not eating very much and moving slowly back into yoga teaching and practice. It was sort of balancing when compared with last week, but skipping meals or sustaining myself on snacks alone always makes me feel a little flighty. I’m sure that contributed to this week’s wildness. (+)

Family

My mom sent me an amazing bday package forwarded from the staff at Canyon Ranch! I’m almost a third of the way through, but the gifts of 30 keep showing up for me. I’m glad my mom is the type who will drive to the post office right away to make sure I get a surprise package ASAP. (+)

Friends

This week felt jam packed, so I’m glad I have friends who like to do what I like to do. Some are in my mentor group for yoga, so when we meet to work it just feels like hanging out and catching up. Some come to support my classes. And one will go to see a movie with me that she’s already seen just so I can see it for the first time. Man, I’m lucky! (+)

Mission/Work

I felt strong and stable in the classes that I taught this week. However, I have a training exercise to complete for my new part-time job, and I’ve definitely felt myself procrastinating hard! It’s due next week so hopefully the tips I learned in yoga weekend will get me focused and motivated before then. (-)

Finances

Christmas shopping is tough on a yogi salary, but I’m gathering deals and making a lot of stuff out of yarn. I had a crazy scare this week with Travelocity/Jet Blue and realizing that, for some reason, my flights home were booked in MY MOM’S NAME! How did that happen?! Not possible! But after 3 hours on hold/on the phone and not taking no for an answer, we got it straightened out and I can still go home for Christmas without spending 500 more dollars. Whew! (+)

Adventure

I saw the Queen movie! That was adventurous enough for me. I want to see it again and again and sing and dance and where only sequins until forever. (+)

Hobby

I’ve moved on from crocheting bikinis to more weather appropriate items, like this scarf. And if you count yoga as my hobby, the workshop this weekend was very fulfilling. (+)

Spirituality

This week has shown me some challenges to my spirit in the romance department that make me doubt what I’ve been manifesting in that area. That’s meant back to the drawing board in the dating game, but I guess I can count it as progress if I’m no longer willing to put up with much B.S. from anyone. (+)

Emotion

We decorated our house for Christmas on Friday and I’m so very much in the spirit. (+)

Sunday Special, Vol. 15

Happy belated Turkey Day y’all! I am thankful to you for being here and reading the things that I write. I hope you enjoyed a tasty feast and some time with your loved ones.

I was hanging out with this crew all week while their parents were out of town:

Health

It was Thanksgiving, so I am not even going to go here… but my belly was happy and everything was delicious! (-)

Family

I missed my fam around the holiday, but I had looked up plane tickets to fly to see my mom in Savannah for Thanksgiving, and they were $860. No thanks! I’ll be looking forward to going home for Christmas. (-)

Friends

I got to experience my first LA Friendsgiving events and they were such a treat! I’m grateful to everyone who checked in on me to invite me to their homes or to make sure I had somewhere to go. I feel very taken care of. (+)

Mission/Work

I had a much needed small pause from teaching this week, because most of my usual classes were canceled at the gym. I did pick up a few subbing opportunities here and there, so I didn’t completely turn into a melted puddle of mush watching Netflix on the couch. There was just the right amount of balance. (+)

Finances

A financial tip for you: if you stay in your house every day nesting and resting, you are way less likely to spend money on stuff out in the world! That worked for me over the long weekend. However I was susceptible to some Black Friday/Cyber Monday email temptations. It feels like the deals have spread from one day into a two week shopping spree! Yikes! (+)

Adventure

Not too much, unless you count binge-watching a new show as an adventure… I did have some fun explorations going out in Hollywood during my time off, though. Glad for new friends who like going out on the town. (+)

Hobby

My crochet skills have progressed from bags to bathing suits and I made a cute little bikini with cactus appliqués. I don’t think it can be worn in the water, unfortunately, so it may just be a suit for show. (+)

Spirituality

As I get deeper into teaching and my schedule of classes has been filling in, I realize that it’s hard to practice yoga on your own when you’re also teaching 2-3 times a day! Especially when you’re teaching at different studios and driving all over the dang place. On Thanksgiving Day I went back to one of my favorite neighborhood studios (Namaste Highland Park) and took an amazing class that helped me to reconnect with my practice. It’s important for me to experience my own practice outside of teaching, and I am glad to have room in my life to do that. (+)

Emotion

Delighted! This week/weekend was the perfect amount of time to recharge, hang out with friends, enjoy yummy food, crochet, and chill. I feel prepared to be productive this week and (hopefully) to eat not quite so many carbs. (+)

Sunday Special, Vol. 14

Health

It seems like the Canyon Ranch vibe has rubbed off on me, because this week had me living pretty healthfully. It happened mainly in the exercise department, since I had taken so many classes on our vacation that I wanted to keep it all up once I came back. On top of that, the array of menu items at the resort inspired me more often to wait and prepare food at home instead of grabbing something on the go. (+)

Family

I was a little out of touch this week, coming back from a week away and getting back into the swing of things. I did call my grandma to find out that she won $500 at the casino last week, so that was a win. (+/-)

Friends

The friends you meet can really make or break your time in a new city. I know meeting people can be especially hard here in LA, what with all the driving and hustling and trying to be the most famous and glamorous. Every day I feel so elated to have met so many amazing people here who I am lucky enough to call my friends. And to be invited to two Friendsgivings, one of which we had last night and was absolutely delicious! (+)

Mission/Work

Whew! I taught ten times this past week and attended eight hours of teacher training over the weekend. That is not a humble brag— it’s just how life went. The goal number of classes per week that I set for myself is a little higher than that, but honestly, right now ten feels like maximum capacity. I wonder how it will feel once teacher training comes to an end, but we’ve still got a few more months to power through. (+)

Finances

I officially have a new part time job, as something called a Destination Consultant where I’ll be helping relocated employees get acquainted with their new city. I decided to accept the job partially so that my entire income doesn’t ride on yoga, and partially because I applied a few months ago, didn’t hear anything for a while, forgot about it, and then it sprang up again. You really never know. (+)

Adventure

Went to see a favorite band in a new (to me) place. (+)

Hobby

I am 100% officially done with the crocheted bag, although I did say I finished it last week. But today I added a button and a button loop. I also stopped at Michael’s where they were having a buy 2 get 1 free yarn sale, so you know what I’ll be getting into during Thanksgiving break... (+)

Spirituality

The meditation app that I use keeps me interested because it’s usually about 10 minutes of an opening discussion followed by 10-15 minutes of meditation. Unfortunately, this week I was getting so wrapped up in taking notes on the lecture portion (yes, I do that) and thinking about it, that I got a little distracted from the actual meditation. So much for clearing my mind. I’m sure it’s a product of this speedy lifestyle I’m living. I am looking forward to the chance to slow down with fewer classes and obligations next week. (+)

Emotion

Overjoyed! There’s something about this time of year. I think the holidays for me are actually a sloughing off of normal responsibilities and just getting it all done so you can get home and enjoy time with friends and family. I can’t wait. (+)

Happy Thanksgiving next week y’all! Enjoy yourselves! Stay safe, and eat a lot of whatever it is you’re dreaming of!

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”

— Meister Eckhart

Sunday Special, Vol. 13

Last week, my mom took me to a special wellness retreat in Tuscon, AZ to celebrate my belated 30th birthday. It felt strange to be basking in luxury while giant parts of LA were on fire, but pleasant to reconnect and practice self care. I’m home now, and the smokey air is smelling like campfire, but it’s nothing here in my neighborhood compared to people in Malibu losing their homes and seeing their whole lives go up in flames. This week is heavy hearted, but it’s another chance to witness the power of people and communities coming together.

Health

This had to have been my healthiest vacation ever. Most guests stay at Canyon Ranch to relax, refocus on health, or reconnect with their spirit. Every hour of the day was loaded with fitness classes, lifestyle lectures, spa services, creative classes, and nature activities. Since it was my first time there, my mom and I kept very busy and wanted to try as many different things as possible. We went for morning walks among saguaro cacti. We took yoga classes (of course), Zumba, water aerobics, kettle bells, acrylic painting, and I received a tarot card reading. I’ll have more to details to share later this week, but this getaway really took the idea of healthy living up a few notches. (+)

Family

Getting to spend a week with my mom was nice. I wonder if people whose parents are still together get the same chance to connect with each parent one-on-one. It’s a special thing, and I’m grateful to have had this time. (+)

Friends

When you’re a yoga teacher, it’s hard getting started out with new classes. Sometimes no one shows up or one person comes and you’ve got to give an awkward private session. If you move to a new city, it’s like restarting the entire experience all over in a new place. I am so thankful that I found friends here who have been willing to come to my classes. Friends, please always let me know if you’re starting a new venture and need an extra show of support! (+)

Mission/Work

It was nice to take a few days off from teaching classes to visit Tuscon. I ended up going to quite a few yoga classes anyway, even when I said I’d branch out and try new styles of exercise. But I did end up learning a lot and coming back with fresh ideas to incorporate into my classes. (+)

Finances

Since it was my birthday celebration, I was treated to so much this week! You know I welcomed it with open arms, and that has to be a plus. (+)

Adventure

Canyon Ranch was a totally new experience for me. It was kind of like an all-inclusive vacation mixed with summer camp and a spa and a health club. I wished that we had a tiny bit more time in Tuscon to see life outside the ranch, but I spotted enough saguaros and javelina that I can’t complain. (+)

Hobby

I painted some mountains! And finally finished the bag I’d been crocheting for about a month now. (+)

Spirituality

It was reassuring to learn that Canyon Ranch doesn’t just focus on restoring fitness and physical beauty. They have really developed a holistic approach that lets visitors focus on what concerns them. I liked that we were able to try some new classes and learn about unfamiliar topics while still getting to enjoy our old favorites. There was plenty of meditation and quiet stillness to go around. (+)

Emotion

What a rollercoaster! I was thrilled to be experiencing a whole new type of vacation and getting away from it all. But news of the shooting and fires in SoCal had me worried about my friends and our city. My mind was definitely in two different places at certain points of the trip. (+/-)

Sunday Special, Vol. 12

We had yoga teacher training both days last weekend and both days this weekend, so it’s gotten to the point where it’s hard to tell anymore where the week and the weekend diverge. I’m leaving for a trip to Arizona with my mom on Wednesday, and it’s all hustle until then.

If you’re in LA and you’ve got the time, I’ll be subbing the 9-10am class at Mockingbird Yoga tomorrow morning. This week, I’m extremely grateful for that cozy little space.

Health

Strangely enough, I felt that my Halloween candy intake was relatively minimal this year. I didn’t think we were likely to get trick-or-treaters, since we live in the upstairs of a duplex and the entrance is on the side of the house, so we didn’t buy any candy to hand out. I did go to a friend’s house to be festive with them, so my candy consumption was limited to that night. That has to equal a win for health this week. (+)

Family

I’ve been planning my trip home to New York for Christmas already, and I’m excited to be meeting up with my mom in a few days. (+)

Friends

I feel so fortunate in this category. On a few nights this week, I had some genuine, deep belly laughs with a great group of friends. I know that can take a pretty long time to get to when you move to a new place. I am grateful that it’s happened quickly for me here, thanks to loving friends of friends and acquaintances with big hearts. (+)

Mission/Work

I taught my second class at the GFC this weekend, and tomorrow morning I’m subbing for the second time at Mockingbird Yoga. I can’t say enough good things about these two groups of business owners! I’ve been bowled over with their willingness to support and take a chance on me. I’m impressed with their small-business knowledge and drive, and I feel like I’m learning so much in case I ever want to do more officially do my own thing someday. (+)

Finances

Make fun of me all you want, but I read my Astrology Zone horoscope at the beginning of every month, and this week is the last time that one of my planets is in the House of Other People’s Money (yes, that’s a real house) for the next ten years! What do you know, my grandma sent me a generous Halloween present, and while I can’t take credit for her financial savvy, I will count it as a plus for me. Now to work on summoning all the forces into the House of Making and Saving My Own Gosh Darn Money… (+)

Adventure

Celebrating Halloween in LA was a new thrill for me! After assisting my mentor’s class on Wednesday, I headed out in Santa Monica for my usual lunch and coffee break before going to tutor a student. I found that from 3-6pm on Montana Avenue, the neighborhood kids can come in their costumes and trick-or-treat to all of the local businesses. There’s also a huge haunted house nearby at a movie director’s residence. I loved being in the area to experience it all. (+)

Hobby

This was the last week of pug drawings for Inktober. I was a little delayed, and some of my drawings were half-assed this time around, but I finished them all by the end of the week, and that has to count for something. (+)

Spirituality

At the best times, when you aren’t even looking, spirituality comes knocking on your door. I went to take Steffany’s class at Mockingbird Yoga on Friday, and she kindly invited me to a Kundalini yoga workshop that night which was part of their yoga teacher training. I had only done Kundalini a couple of times before that, and I was usually too confused or out of my element to really get into it. The instructor took us through some sample exercises and mantras and went deep into an explanation of each chant or practice. It was rewarding to learn a bit of the background behind this esoteric form of yoga. (+)

Emotion

I would say I felt content this week, but honestly, the whole thing just sort of disappeared. Maybe that’s a good thing, since I was so caught up in the doing of my day-to-day that I didn’t have time to reflect on how I was feeling. (+/-)

Sunday Special, Vol. 11

Health

I’m typing this while eating a cheeseburger from Shake Shack, so I don’t really know what I can tell you! I visited some gyms and did a lot of yoga, too. But I am learning how important it is to take care of your body when your body is part of your job. Of course, it’s important to take care of your body no matter what your job is! However, I notice that after teaching 2 classes and taking 1 class in a day, my joints feel pretty tired and I really have to get enough rest. And fill myself with healthy foods, besides this Shackburger… (-/+)

Family

This week, I wrote a letter back to my aunt because she had sent me a surprise card full of Halloween stickers. I might be 30 with a computer phone, but I’ll love stickers and snail mail til the end of time! (+)

Friends

I’ve had the house to myself this week since my roommates are vacationing in Europe, so I’ve definitely been taking advantage of some relaxing introverted alone time. But my friends are the sweetest and brought me out to a few Halloween parties this weekend, so I was able to put together a last minute costume.

Mission/Work

I’m so so so excited and thankful to be teaching quite a few weekly classes. This Saturday, we started a new class at GFCLA and it was awesome. It’s a bright, feel-good space where I can see potential for a strong Saturday morning community. Check it out!

Finances

Y’all, I did not win the Mega Millions. (-)

Adventure

Right now, I am all about Chinatown! That’s where I’ve started teaching my Saturday class, and the owners of the studio also have a sustainable vintage store in the Far East Plaza. I’m a little worried about how this new class will impact my Saturday shopping habits, but I’m looking forward to exploring more of the plaza. (+)

Hobby

Steady drawing pugs up in here. (+)

Spirituality

Ok, I told you I had dropped off my 20 minutes of morning meditation routine lately, but this week I got back to it. However, some days I allowed the meditation to be me laying in my bed in a half-wake half-sleep state for 20 minutes. I don’t think it counts. Fear not, though, because tomorrow Oprah and Deepak are back. (+)

Emotion

This week, I flew back from New York and the rest of the week felt like I was just going through the motions. The best days are when my alarm goes off and I spring out of bed, excited to get into the day (I swear, sometimes it happens!). Unfortunately, this week I usually pulled the covers back over my head and wanted to stay wrapped up in them all day. And there must have been something in the air, because I was a little disappointed in myself for making more mistakes in my classes, like mixing up left and right or getting tongue-tied. Oh well, I got my oil changed and made an appointment for an eye exam. Sometimes we need a bum week to get back on track. (-)

Sunday Special, Vol. 10

Ok, so it’s Monday and ok, so I skipped a week. But I’ve been to the desert and now I’m writing this from a cafe in New York City, so that’s just what is happening over here. We celebrated a family wedding this week and I’m eating a plate of fish-shaped waffles that are filled with Nutella, and that seems like enough.

Health

During the music festival I kept things very calm, cool, and collected by drinking usually only one drink per day, which made me feel very 30-years-old. I even went to a morning yoga class, and there’s always a lot of walking or dancing at these types of things, so I think, overall, it was a healthy time. Then this weekend before the wedding there were a few extra hours to kill at the hotel, so I went to the fitness center and did some stuff, which made me feel very LA high-performer. And actually it was good to get the blood flowing after a full Friday of traveling, so I think a visit to the hotel gym is something I feel comfortable recommending. (+)

Family

My cousin Candice got married in Purchase, NY and everything was beautiful! Many relatives were gracious to remind me that it had been a long time since I attended a family gathering, so I will be more careful not to let as much time pass until the next one. (+)

Friends

I’m not sure that there was much time for seeing friends in between the coming back from camping, returning to teaching, and flying to New York, but there were surely many great times had at the festival. And I’m becoming pretty close friends with these Nutella-stuffed fish as this post goes on, so… (+)

Mission/Work

I started tutoring a high school student in Spanish a few weeks ago, and now I’m building a life by teaching a lot of yoga and a little bit of Spanish and that’s a pretty cool feeling. In my twenties, I remember fearing that I had to choose one career and stick with it, and now in my thirties (that’s something you can say when you’ve been 30 for six months), I’m thinking I might be able to try a little bit of everything I enjoy and see how it all works out. (+)

Finances

I got a free flight from LAX to JFK based on my own credit card points and my dad’s kindly contributed frequent flyer miles, so that can’t be a negative. And I bought a Mega Millions ticket last night, so see ya later, financial burdens of the world. (+)

Adventure

There really isn’t anything quite like New York in the Fall. (+)

Hobby

Something about traveling shakes everything up in me and always helps me burst out of a creative rut or reconnect with the hobbies I most love. I forgot my headphones, returned to some drawings, and read a whole book on the flight over here. (+)

Spirituality

I slightly dropped off my first-thing-in-the-morning 20 minutes of meditation routine, and I’m slowly crawling my way back. (-)

Emotion

I think there were a few weddings in the past two years where I felt kind of jaded and sad, trying to fake it til I made it while lamenting the loss of my own past relationship plans. On top of that, there were times when I came home and hoped no one would ask what I was up to because I wasn’t really sure; I was hoping for a change and it hadn’t become clear how to get from point A to point B. This weekend, as I celebrated the wedding, I realized I felt genuinely happy for everyone involved and, later on, I hoped that someone would ask how I was doing because I am deeply excited about the day-to-day world without wanting to escape it for something else. Not every day is an emotional walk in the park, but I was happy to take a moment realizing that things feel pretty right. (+)

Sunday Special, Vol. 9

This week was a special one, since I spent it in nearby Silver Lake babysitting a cute little doggie. I found that housesitting or dog sitting is a nice way to change up your life without permanently changing up anything in your life. It was definitely refreshing to get a change of scenery and learn the streets of a new neighborhood.

Health

I’ve been living in a vegetarian household since I moved to LA, which is totally cool with me! I was a vegetarian for a pretty long time, and I respect all dietary choices. But when I signed on, I didn’t realize how much I would miss cooking with meat or seafood. I don’t eat it every night, but when I see a cookbook recipe or a blog post, sometimes I get bummed if it’s something I know I won’t be able to make. I’ve also found that including meat/fish in my diet usually helps me to eat healthier. I can have protein and veggies for dinner without feeling like I have to add something starchy or processed or a lot of beans. To my delight, the friends’ place where I stayed this week was not a vegetarian kitchen, so I got to indulge in some baked salmon, turkey chili, and turkey meatballs. Yum yum yum. Plus, living with a dog had me out and about on long walks 2-3 times per day. (+)

Family

We’ve got an exciting cousin wedding coming up in two weeks, so there was a lot of planning going on for that. I’m excited to see my dad’s side of the family, and I’m so thankful that some members are willing to pick carless me up and drop me off at our various destinations! (+)

Friends

One sticky thing about being an adult is that is kind of hard to make new friends! Do you agree? I think it’s because we know ourselves a little better so we are more protective of quality alone time where we can rest and recharge (because we’re old!). We’re also juggling work and other responsibilities and sometimes just trying to manage our relationships with our already existing friends. But I’ve made some quality friends here in LA, so I really try to balance where I spend my time, even when part of me would rather go to bed early or watch mafia crime dramas on HBO GO. It’s important to have friends, new and old, so I’m proud of myself for taking time to build and maintain those friendships. (+)

Mission/Work

I’m excited to see my schedule filling up with classes, but at the same time, I took some time to reflect this week on the best way to manage a yoga teaching schedule. I think the best teachers are not only teaching their own classes, but still finding time to take classes with other instructors. That’s a little harder when we’re teaching 2-3 times per day or more. I’m curious to find out if the best way is to develop more of a home practice while attending a couple of studio classes each week, or if it’s really important to keep taking a lot of classes in-person. I’ll need to do some experimentation. (+)

Finances

I may have taken myself out to a few too many classy lunch and coffee dates in Silver Lake, while getting to know the neighborhood, of course. (-)

Adventure

I had a whole new area to explore, so this week was full of adventure. Pootie the pup and I walked to the reservoir and the park. And yesterday a few friends and I checked out the Eagle Rock Music Festival. There was a bunch of live music, melted cheese, and sweet cupcakes, and that’s really all you need to know. (+)

Hobby

For artists of Instagram, October brings Inktober, a drawing challenge where people complete one sketch per day and can share it with the world of social media. While I’m still on the fence about calling myself an artist, I like to draw, and last year’s Inktober led to the eventual creation of my Enlightened Pugs Coloring Book. Who knows what this year’s will bring? (+)

Spirituality

I’m trying Sam Harris’ Waking Up meditation app . I don’t necessarily like apps like this and Headspace where the instructor keeps interrupting to give pointers. But that’s probably because I start getting lost in my thoughts and I don’t like being called back to the present, so I think this may be good for me. (+)

Emotion

I’m coming off a fun week that felt like a vacation, and I know that this coming week will be a little short, since I’m attending a music/camping festival next weekend. I apologize in advance if there’s no post next Sunday! It’ll be nice to leave computers behind for a while. (+)

The Brown Skirt

Ok people, hold onto your own skirts because I have a story for you…

Early this summer, I was driving around LA, as we do, and I saw a girl crossing the street wearing a skirt that I liked. It was brownish tan or suede-looking, had buttons down the front, and hit a little above the knee. I thought, “Hm, that girl looks good and fashionable. I think I would like a skirt like that.”

Please note that my closet is bursting with of all sorts of clothes, and I certainly don’t need any more of any type of clothing, especially not skirts, because I spend all of my days not wearing skirts but doing and teaching yoga.

However, my capitalist self came home and perused the pages of the internet for a similar item. I looked on Poshmark to try to find something used, and later ventured onto Forever 21 and even Madewell, pretending that I am an actual person with an actual salary. I found a few pieces that might have suited my interests, but I am not a very impulsive online shopper, so I decided not to purchase anything right away. As days and weeks went by, I decided I didn’t really need a new skirt and eventually forgot about it altogether.

Let us flash forward to September when my mom and sister went shopping together in Boston for a bridesmaid dress and other “back-to-school” clothing necessities and/or maternal bonding that, of course, daughters are in need of long after we’ve finished school. Afterwards, my mom called to tell me that Elayne had tried on a medium skirt which ended up being too big, so the store had ordered a small for her. But, when they finished checking out and got home, my sister realized that the sales clerk had accidentally included the medium skirt in the bag.

The small skirt arrived a few days later, and my mom called the store, but since my sister lives in New York and the store is in Boston, it was decided that it wouldn’t be worth it to return the skirt. Flash forward to me, a size medium, relaxing in my yoga pants when my sister sends me a description followed by a picture of the skirt and…. IT’S THE SKIRT! An exact replica of the skirt I had coveted, let go, forgotten about and subconsciously been aligning myself to all along.

Now it’s here and a little big, but we are making it work because what else would I write this post about if it didn’t fit? Anyway, this isn’t a story about shoplifting skirts or fulfilling all your consumerist dreams; the skirt is a metaphor*. What are you holding onto that you don’t really need or aren’t sure is worth the trouble? If you release your grasp on it, you may find that it works its way back to you in an effortless and delightful way.

*It’s also an actual skirt that I plan to start wearing later this week.

Sunday Special, Vol. 8

Here I am checking in on another week! This one was a bit confusing, since on Thursday I basically forgot where I was supposed to be and what day it was, so I showed up to teach a 7am yoga class one day early, and later started driving to my Friday yoga class. Hi self, let’s slow things down and get our footing!

Health

Since I’ve always been an athlete and now I work as a yoga teacher, it’s usually easy to get myself to exercise. There aren’t many days where I spend my days fully couched, so moving my body is never really an issue. But, since I grew up extremely active, I’ve mostly been able to eat whatever I want, with some level of reason, and still stay on track as a fit and healthy person. However, on the nutrition side of things, when my schedule gets crazy, it becomes much hard to control my eating out habits! As much as I love veggies and home cooked meals, I have a super sweet tooth and find it hard to resist carbs. This week had me running all over the place, and I did not do a great job of planning my meals. There were a lot of skipped breakfasts and then quick meals grabbed in a very hungry state of mind, ie. not the best choices! I’m starting Sunday with a lot more green stuff, and a lot less bread, cheese, and sugar. (-)

Family

Phone calls, phone calls, phone calls. (+)

Friends

Fortunately, my not-quite-so-healthy regular eating out habit provides me with many opportunities to connect with friends out in the world. I’ll be spending the next week in Silver Lake watching a furry friend, while her non-furry humans are vacationing in Iceland. On Tuesday night, they treated me to yummy falafel, wine, and good conversation, which in retrospect may have contributed to me getting all the later days of the week mixed up. I tried a Zweet new coffee shop with another friend and then convinced others to join me for beer and pretzels at the Golden Road. (+)

Intimate Relationships

I prefer to keep this section private for now :) I leave it on here in case you want to conduct your own personal check-in, a la High Performance Habits.

Mission/Work

The yoga continues to grow, and I feel fortunate to have the time and space to practice and teach in this bustling city. It is nice to have a solid community of teachers, students, and supporters of the practice, so there is always somewhere to come back to when I feel a little off balance. My roster of classes is still mostly unpredictable day-to-day and week-to-week, and I’m setting an intention to sit down and schedule out my days the night before. (+)

Finances

Actually, not too shabby this week in spite of my endeavors as a restaurant enthusiast. Dog sitting ventures may indeed pay off. (+)

Adventure

New coffee shop! New brewery! And, starting this weekend, a weeklong staycation in Silver Lake to switch up the scene. (+)

Hobby

I’m very close to finishing my crochet bag (three weeks later)! I’m so glad to have crochet as a skill/hobby. It’s easy to learn and I recommend it to anyone with a flighty mind that’s always planning 5 minutes, days, or years into the future. Speaking of flighty, I imagine it might be good for people who get anxious while traveling in planes, trains, buses, or cars (in the passenger seat, silly). It also weirdly helps me stay focused while watching TV shows or movies. And has saved me in past relationships with video game addicted boyfriends. (+)

Spirituality

I prefer to do my meditation first thing in the morning, but I’m not much of a 5am riser and I had to set two 6am alarms this week, so I tried sitting on my cushion later in the day. It was a bit more challenging to make myself stay there, but repeating a mantra with prayer beads usually helps me focus. The more I sit and breathe, the better I become at forgiving myself for little slip-ups, like showing up for Friday on Thursday or stopping for an In-n-Out cheeseburger on the way home from yoga teacher training. I am able to step back and see how we all swing back and forth from on top of things to underneath them, and we do what we can to find the middle way in between. (+)

Emotion

Driving from place to place with a scattered schedule made me feel like a bit of a non-human, running on coffee and “fast” food (or sometimes no food!). I’ll be using the next week to manage my time a little better and question where I really need to be. (-)

Sunday Special, Vol. 7

Whew, y’all! I just got back from a whirlwind weekend in Austin, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it. It featured BBQ, boots, and 2-stepping in a barn, so you know it was a good ol’ Texan Time. Here’s the Sunday rundown:

Health

I was actually feeling very revved up about getting to the gym first thing in the morning for most of the week. Between that and yoga, I think I carved myself a nice little deficit, which I then filled with barbecue and booze for the celebratory weekend. It’s all in the balance. (+)

Family

I bought my ticket home to New York for Christmas! That was… breathtakingly expensive, but those times are precious and I wouldn’t miss it again after last years solo festivities in Nicaragua. (+)

Friends

All the pluses! I feel so fortunate to have reconnected with so many dear hearts in the past two days. Somehow we all managed to cross paths over the years and can reconvene to make Central Texas an extra special place. (+)

Intimate Relationships

I prefer to keep this section private for now :)

Mission/Work

I finally started a monthly newsletter to highlight some of my class offerings and schedule updates— send me your email if you’d like to receive it! It’s tricky to be business-minded when most of your work is just reminding people to breathe, but I’m trying to grow here. (+)

Finances

Well, if you’ve ever been to a far-off wedding or friend weekend, you might understand the minus that follows. However, I’ll take this unsponsored chance to highlight the Chase Sapphire card for usually giving me enough points to get one domestic flight leg free! (-)

Adventure

First attendance at an Austin wedding! Congratulations to my friends Katie & Cory! (+)

Hobby

Does watching a bunch of episodes of the Sopranos count? (-)

Spirituality

I feel bad giving myself a negative for spirituality, but I did welcome a lot of interruptions and skips in my meditation practice this week. (-)

Emotion

I’m over the moon to have had the chance to check back in on my Austin fam this week. As much as I long for stability and permanence, I still feel most myself when I’m jet-setting from place to place with light luggage, sleeping on friends’ couches, and already on a plane the next morning. (+)

Finding My Voice

When was the last time you did something you were really, genuinely afraid to do?

That was me last weekend—not for anything actually scary, but in the face of going on stage to sing karaoke… solo! I’ve been to karaoke a lot of times, but I usually watch from the audience, or join a group of at least three friends and stand in the back, far away from the microphone. Then afterwards I dream of choosing my own song and rocking out without caring what anyone thinks of my performance. “Oh well,” I think, “maybe next time.”

Apart from the past few years where I’ve pushed myself hard to step out of my comfort zone, growing up I was actually very shy. I was a hardworking and focused student, but it always made me extremely nervous to ask a question in class, and I think I would rather have died than present in front of a group.

This summer, I went to a friend’s family party and one of our middle school teachers was there. She remembered me— “You were such a good student, but painfully shy!” I’ve been working so hard to be outgoing that I had almost forgotten about those days. Her words reminded me. One year, I even wanted to run for student government but decided against it because I would have had to give a speech.

Somewhere along the way, I found my teaching voice. I still get nervous in front of a class (or recording videos of myself!), but I love the rush of connection so much and find the information so important that I keep stumbling through it. Singing karaoke on my own was another story. I’m always envious of the people with beautiful voices, and even more of those who can get up on stage and put their whole hearts into it when they don’t sound great. Like most humans, I usually want everyone to think that everything I do is excellent. A totally realistic goal, haha! Unfortunately, my singing voice is not one anyone would describe as “excellent” by a long shot.

Last Friday night, my two girlfriends and I sat watching and cheering on the other performers at the Joshua Tree Saloon. I had chosen and practiced a song for days, but I could sense the familiar heart racing, cold sweat feeling that usually keeps me in my seat. I procrastinated, waiting until we ordered drinks (of course!) and looked over the food menu. The crowd was small and friendly, and the performances were sparse since it was early in the evening. Would tonight be my night? I remembered back to a discussion with one of the brave women on our Thailand yoga retreat. She loved singing and did it as much as she could. She’d told us, “We don’t sing because it sounds good, we sing because we have a voice.” I swallowed pride and fear and walked up to put my name in. And when it was time to sing, I sang!

It wasn’t very excellent, and I kind of tried to hide behind the microphone, so stage presence is something to work on for next time, but I sang, by myself and for myself. And as a bonus, my friends and I were so supportive of the other singers that later in the night, we got called back onstage to perform background vocals for another performer. A little hype goes a long way!

Sure, there are truly terrifying things in life—disease, losing a loved one, going skydiving for the first time—but most of the time, what we worry most about are the little things. Should we speak up in a meeting? Can we state our boundaries or ask for what we want? Is it the right time to tell someone we love them? It’s easy to back away from taking risks because, for most of us, life as it is can feel pretty comfortable.

This year, this decade even, for me has been all about breaking through that comfort zone to find out what’s on the other side. Try the skill you’ve been wanting to try. Say the words you’ve been wanting to say. Sing the song you’ve been wanting to sing. Eventually, you might find yourself living the life you want to live.

Sunday Special, Vol. 6

This week was fast! It feels like I just finished writing about the last one and, bam, here we are again…

Health

l went to the gym a bunch of times this week. And, I must say, if you’re looking for a way to get yourself to the gym more often, find a job where you work at the gym. It’s hard to make excuses to avoid working out when you’re already there. I also read this book/listened to this Ted Talk which could be helpful in your own workout motivation. (+)

Family

I didn’t even have to ask and my mom sent me a new water bottle decorated with pugs. Now my sister is sending me the most perfect skirt that is the exact skirt that I’ve been waiting for. That’s really about what my family is doing for me instead of what I’m doing for my family, but let’s count it anyway. (+)

Friends

Went to Wednesday night hip hop night at a new bar with a new friend. She’s 23 and I’m 30, so I did get a little sleepy after the 11pm hour, but I’ve gotta hold onto my youth while it’s still in sight. I also got to Facetime catch up with a few friends back home. I’m thankful to the technology that makes long distance friendship a little easier! (+)

Intimate Relationships

I prefer to keep this section private for now :)

Mission/Work

This week held news that I’ll be adding 3 additional permanent classes to my teaching schedule in October. More info on that coming soon! (+)

Finances

So, it’s hard to explore a new city, try to be a frugal business woman, and keep control of your finances all at once. Could use some more self-control in this department. (-)

Adventure

On Saturday we went to the LA County Fair! I think I’ll tell you about it in a separate post this week because it was a whole exciting thing. They have two chairlifts for goodness’ sake. (+)

Hobby

I crocheted two halves of a bag and now I need to link them together. It’s slow progress but something is happening. And I have no updates on my keyboard playing abilities at this time… (+)

Spirituality

Our yoga teacher training classes this week were focused on pranayama (breathing exercises) which is pretty new terrain for me. I’m learning more than ever about mantra and meditation, so it has been interesting to expand meditative techniques. (+)

Emotion

 This week really felt like a blur, but I believe it was an enjoyable one! (+)

Sunday Special, Vol. 4

Welcome to September! Here we are on a Sunday that's like a Saturday with a Monday like a Sunday coming soon. I spent the last days of August on an exciting trek up to June Lake and Yosemite, and I will tell you about it very soon. Here's the check in:

Health

Well, I was an unsupervised child on the camping grocery trip so things started off with apples and turkey sandwich supplies but quickly flew off the rails with chocolate pretzels, hot Cheetos, and frosted mini wheats a.k.a. crack cocaine. I tried to make a comeback later in the week, but yesterday after yoga in Santa Monica, I figured why not stop at Sidecar Doughnuts because, really, WHY NOT? There was a very intriguing chef's special chocolate chip donut with cookie dough in the middle (a cookie doughnut, if you will) that I could not resist, but it ended up being a bit too much even for my sweet stomach. If you haven't been to Sidecar, you certainly should, but my belly advises you to keep it simple with Huckleberry or Butter & Salt.  (-)

Family

Monday was my dad's birthday, so I sent him an electric knife since that is a thing dads are asking for as birthday gifts. A major highlight of the gift was finding the perfect card featuring a pug (do you know I love pugs?) flipping pancakes with the greeting "Dad, you're flipping awesome!" (+)

Friends

Even though the mid-week camping trip was solo, it's been so nice to continue growing a broader group of friends here in LA. The yoga teacher trainings have introduced me to many wonderful people, and I've been running into friends in almost every class now. Also, on Friday night, other friends took me to an extra special art event where we scored some patches and gummy octopi (I guess that was a plus and a minus due to other indiscretions which you can read about in the Health section of this post). (+)

Intimate Relationships

I prefer to keep this section private for now :)

Mission/Work

My teaching schedule was pretty light this week because I had originally planned on going to Burning Man, but all of the arrangements didn't come together as I'd hoped. On the bright side, I picked up a new permanent class--Thursday mornings at 9:30 at 24 Hour Fitness Monterey Park! -- and (sort of) started a monthly email newsletter for yoga happenings. (+)

Finances

Still a minus because I was not very firm about sticking to my two times eating out budget for the week. Better luck next time. (-)

Adventure

Very big adventures were accomplished this week! Camping on my own for the first time was a rousing success! And I picked up a National Park Annual Pass in the hopes that many more journeys will follow. (+++++)

Hobby

Do camping, reading, and yoga count? I got a little frustrated with piano practice because I'm never certain if I'm putting my fingers in the right spots on the keys. My grandma says I need real lessons instead of a book/YouTube. Do you play? Any advice for a confused beginner? (+)

Spirituality

Being on my own up north allowed me to experience a connection to nature while I read more about mindful presence with Jon Kabat-Zinn. I had a reassuring feeling of being home and safe in new places, but of course there's always the need to put down my phone more often and just be. (+)

Emotion

Emotions were on high this week since my busy mind loves venturing from place to place. I'm always packing as much into each day as possible, although that can make me a little restless. I'm slowly learning to spend more time sitting when I haven't scheduled a surplus of activities. (+)

Happy long weekend! I hope your sweet days are filled with what you love.